IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some parts of the world people try to find out one's own family history. Why do people do this. Do you think it is a positive or negative.

#parts #world #people #history
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In many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of the world individual try to detect one's family background,it has become a norm that you s
practice
Wrong verb form
practised
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 by many
people
Use synonyms
 in our society at large, it is a welcome development
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
this
Linking Words
 will help to find out
genetics
Replace the word
genetic
show examples
trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
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 and how immediate attention could help to curb the complications that tend to arise in future.
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain my take of the issued. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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in a
society
Add a comma
,society
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 it is paranoia for individual history to
been know
Change the verb form
know
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, it
give
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gives
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 a general overview of ailments that run in family
such
Linking Words
 as
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
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, sickle cell disease and ABO incompatibility, allergies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not to be left out.these are illnesses that can be transmitted from generation to another .
For
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instance
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,instance
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 In 2018 a team of
Add an article
the researcher
a researcher
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researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
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 in Ekpan general hospital,
Doctor's
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Doctor
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 and Nurses,
A
Correct article usage
apply
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details information
gather
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gathered
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 from a particular patient
help
Wrong verb form
helped
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 to
sevage
Correct your spelling
selvedge
 the crisis that would have
occur
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occurred
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 knowledge of one's ancestry allow
people
Use synonyms
 to avoid some inherited diseases.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in my own
perspective
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,perspective
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 it is a welcome idea because with
this
Linking Words
 understanding
people
Use synonyms
 are able to detect
this
Linking Words
 disease early and prompt attention could be done to prevent the complications urgently. A research carried out by
Correct your spelling
Gyan
Gyaen
Correct article usage
the Gyaen
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 department, it was noticed that following the awareness program on the
significant
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significance
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 of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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 line,there was
45
Correct article usage
a 45
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 decline in the number of ABO incompatibility as more
people
Use synonyms
 began to seek appropriate medical intervention. In conclusion, the
important
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importance
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 of an individual background can't be left out, and in different art of the world
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 knowledge has become a trend.
People
Use synonyms
 need to be educated in other to have
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
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about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their health and how to manage it on time. In many
Change to a plural noun
opinions
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opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 it is a positive growth as it will encourage
people
Use synonyms
 on earlier
identification
Replace the word
identify
show examples
 of illness and a quest for prompt attention.
Submitted by Ugochukwufaith25  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lineage
  • ancestry
  • descendants
  • heritage
  • genealogy
  • forebears
  • family tree
  • genetic predisposition
  • legacy
  • inheritance
  • cultural roots
  • societal changes
  • historical records
  • archival research
  • DNA testing
What to do next:
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