IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

many people jude success solely by money material possessions. however, success can be achived or measured in other ways. what are you opinions on this topic?

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Success
Use synonyms
 is measured differently by individuals.
Although
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 in recent times many
people
Use synonyms
 assign
success
Use synonyms
 solely to monetary possessions.
This
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 is due to the society we live in.
However
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, I believe
success
Use synonyms
 encompasses a lot more
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 money a
person
Change noun form
person's
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 possession
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
 assign
success
Use synonyms
 solely to financial
wealth
Use synonyms
 due to
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 we live in. Without
doubts
Add a comma
,doubts
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 the world
have
Change the verb form
has
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 evolved to be a capitalist society
such
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 that
wealth
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 is the only
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
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 of power.
As a result
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,
people
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 are configured to attribute financial
wealth
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 to triumph.
In addition
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, parents even make the children study courses with higher remuneration
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 for their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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 to be a
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
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 in future.
For instance
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, in 2020 a survey carried out by the United Educational, Scientific and Children Organization (UNESCO) on secondary students in Final classes in Lagos Nigeria showed that 90%
students
Change preposition
of students
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 aspiring
course
Fix the infinitive
to course
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 of Study were chosen by their guardians due to the high remuneration.
However
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, grading
success
Use synonyms
 solely on financial possessions makes individuals
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 sight of other sim and victory.
In addition
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,
people
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 tend to be oblivious of little successes in their life like job promotion, education achievement and even
Correct your spelling
childbirth
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child birth
Correct your spelling
childbirth
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 as they think only
wealth
Use synonyms
 is regarded as
Use synonyms
success
Add an article
a success
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. In conclusion, In contemporary times, many individuals attach
success
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 to financial possessions
as a result
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 of the world they leave in. Unfortunately, I think
this
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 is a negative development as
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 sight of other achievements and goals
such
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 as career promotion and
Correct your spelling
academic
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
 progress.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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