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Band 5.5

Some children spend hours playing on their phone. Why is it the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #phone #case #development
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Nowadays, a large number of
children
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 allocate their
time
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 to using
cell
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phones
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. In my opinion, it's totally a negative phenomenon and I'll explain my reasons in the forthcoming paragraphs. because of the technological advancements that have been made in recent decades, society is forcing everyone to use their smartphones anywhere at any
time
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.
For instance
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, lots of teachers nowadays, give assignments to their students via social media, which encourages
children
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 to use their
cell
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phones
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.
Moreover
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, an enormous number of
children
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 spend their
time
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 texting or talking on their
cell
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phones
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 for long hours.
furthermore
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, social media apps have developed significantly in recent decades and have been much more user-friendly than in the past, which motivates
children
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 to spend their
time
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 surfing on telegram or Instagram.
This
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 phenomenon has caused many negative effects on
children
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.
for example
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, the rate of
children
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 with obesity has grown considerably in the
last
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 decade and lots of
children
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 have become socially isolated causing them to hardly ever have contact with each other face to face.
In addition
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, lots of parents have reported that smartphones have interfered with the studies of their
children
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, causing them to get low marks. In conclusion, I think the amount of
time
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 that students spend on their cellphones should reduce so that the
children
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 won't have educational or health problems. In conclusion,many
children
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 spend a large amount of their
time
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 on their
cell
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phones
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 every day because social media constantly presents them with content designed to keep their attention.sadly
this
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 can take a toll on their mental health.
Submitted by n1ma.mohammadi1376 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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