IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation. Do you agree or disagree?

#world’s #overpopulation
It is often believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 overpopulation is the root cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the difficulties faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living organisms all around the world. In my opinion, I totally agree that
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
show examples
over crowding
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
show examples
 is the main cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 most of the problems
such
 as deforestation, water scarcity, global warming, food shortage, etc.
This
 essay will illustrate the negative effects of overpopulation.
To begin
 with, every living being requires a certain amount of natural resources to survive.
However
, with the rapid increase in
people
, the availability of these resources is becoming scarce. Earth is facing many natural calamities like deforestation, global warming, etc. With many individuals migrating to the cities they getting crowded, which is causing the destruction of the forests so that city can provide space to everyone.
Secondly
, these crowded cities
also
 require water and food , but
under-privileged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
show examples
people
 find it difficult to get a hand on them.
On the other hand
, the increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
also
 leads to unemployment. In spite of government efforts to provide jobs to individuals, the competition becomes tough because many
people
 would be competing for a single job.
This
 situation leads to other complexities
such
 as violent crimes, and
corrouption
Correct your spelling
corruption
. With no
work
Add a comma
,work
show examples
people
 lean towards shortcuts to earn money. They commit serious crimes like theft, murder, kidnaps etc. Few will find work by bribing government officials. These kinds of acts have severe negative impacts on the nation. The GDP, tourism and many aspects of the country will decline rapidly. To conclude, major complexities around the globe are because
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 population. I hope, we act as soon as possible to address
this
 situation.
Submitted by rahultulaila on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: