Some people think that the government should spend taxpayers’ funds on cultural activities such as music or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Since time immemorial, taxation has been a source of revenue generation for every governmental entity in a nation. In view of
this
, there is an irrefutable debate that discusses whether money generated from
taxes
should be spent on activities
such
as music or art
while
several folks disagree with
this
position. In
this
essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
take a distinctive look at both sides in the paragraphs below
while
I conclude with my own opinion.
To begin
with, spending
taxes
on entertainment activities
such
as music or art would help increase the
government
's revenue from
this
sector. There are many countries that undermine the strength of entertainment which has proven to be one of the
highest paying
Add a hyphen
highest-paying
show examples
sectors of late.
For instance
, there are many Nigerian artists in the entertainment industry
such
as Wizkid, Davido and Burna Boy who are currently earning royalties which simply signifies that if the
government
invests in their careers and provides the necessary support to enhance growth, there would be more money coming in for the
government
. Invariably, investing taxpayers' funds in
this
sector will help increase revenue for the
country
.
On the other hand
, spending money generated from
taxes
on activities
such
as music and art is detrimental to the
country
's economy. Looking at it from a very neutral view, there are several important things the
government
needs to splash
taxes
on which would help prevent the recession in the nation.
For example
, eradication of poverty, supporting small business owners in order to help stabilize the economy, promote a sustainable society, construction of public structures
such
as road, and train stations and maintenance of the
country
's asset as a whole is more vital
as
Correct word choice
apply
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to promote growth and stability in the nation. Undoubtedly, spending
taxes
on other thriving matters is very pivotal. In a nutshell, spending
taxes
on other important issues in the
country
has several pivotal benefits in order to help stabilize the
country
and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
improve its economy.
Conversely
, I would recommend that the
government
adheres to the status quo in order to prevent economic downfall.
Submitted by simeonagbanoma on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, but it could benefit from more cohesion in linking ideas and arguments together.
task achievement
There is a clear demonstration of relevant specific examples supporting your points, but the essay could benefit from a more comprehensive response to the task question and a deeper exploration of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • national heritage
  • public expenditure
  • taxpayers' funds
  • economic stimulation
  • cultural diversity
  • private sponsorship
  • arts funding
  • cultural initiatives
  • self-sustainability
  • educational programs
  • cultural representation
  • national identity
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