IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, buying a car rather than renting one is very important for people.   Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #car #people #be #case #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, with modernisation across the world, owning a
car
Use synonyms
 is more a necessity rather than a luxury asset.
People
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy a
car
Use synonyms
 rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
 one which we will elaborate in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 buy their own
car
Use synonyms
 today is that it is practical, as it allows someone to drive safely with their family, wherever they want to go.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are protected from bad
weathers
Fix the agreement mistake
weather
show examples
, attacks from thieves and high radiation from the sun as well. Obviously, owning a
car
Use synonyms
 is very expensive today depending of course on the models of
cars
Use synonyms
. Apart
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 purchase of the
car
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 insurance, road taxes, maintenance fee and petrol which are
consequently
Linking Words
 very costly. The issue is when
people
Use synonyms
owns
Change the verb form
own
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
car
Use synonyms
, they will eventually use it to go to work and
Correct your spelling
that
tha
Correct your spelling
that
 is the main cause of traffic jam. Inadvertently, not everybody can afford to have his own
car
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have no choice
to
Correct word choice
but to
show examples
 travel by bus,
Correct word choice
or trams
show examples
trams
Fix the agreement mistake
tram
show examples
 and use their bicycles whenever they need to travel. On the other side,
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sometimes prefer to
rent
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 occasionally or on
Add an article
a long
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 basis.
However
Linking Words
, renting a
car
Use synonyms
 is much more expensive than owning a
car
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that having
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 own
car
Use synonyms
 is better than renting one. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are opting for electric
cars
Use synonyms
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less costly
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
. I do not agree to
rent
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 but some
people
Use synonyms
 have no other choices
to
Correct word choice
but to
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
 one.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: