IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties in the room and sometimes borrow your things without asking you. Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons.

Dear Accommodation Officer, I am writing to formally request a
room
Use synonyms
 transfer for the upcoming term, ideally to a
single occupancy
Use the right word
single-occupancy
show examples
room
Use synonyms
. My current accommodation, which I share with another student in Block B,
room
Use synonyms
 503, has unfortunately proven to be an unsuitable environment for focused academic work. The primary impediment to my studies stems from my roommate's frequent social gatherings.
While
Linking Words
 I appreciate the importance of a vibrant social life at university, the regularity of her visitors,
coupled with
Linking Words
 late-night parties and amplified music, has made it exceedingly difficult for me to maintain a consistent study schedule, particularly in the lead-up to examinations. I have broached the subject with her on several occasions, explaining the disruption these activities cause, but to little avail.
Further
Linking Words
 compounding the issue is her habit of borrowing my personal belongings without seeking my consent beforehand.
This
Linking Words
 not only represents a breach of common courtesy
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 induces considerable anxiety as items are often returned damaged or misplaced. The
overall
Linking Words
 situation has created a stressful and unconducive living space
that is
Linking Words
 negatively impacting my academic performance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I would be immensely grateful if you would consider my application for a single
room
Use synonyms
 in the next term. A private, quiet space would allow me to focus on my studies without these persistent distractions, fostering a more productive and relaxed learning environment. Thank you for your time and consideration. I eagerly await your response. Yours sincerely, Jasleen

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State the request at the start in a short line. Stay with one main idea in each part. Use simple, short sentences when you explain why you want a new room.
coherence
Make each paragraph hold one idea. Use linking words like 'and', 'but', 'so' to show how ideas connect.
content
Clear goal is stated at once.
tone
The tone is polite and formal.
content
The letter gives facts about the problem.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: