IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.

#schools #students #study #music #instrument #classes #support
The chart illustrates the changes in the percentages of five primary occupations in Canada between 1850 and 2020.
 
Overall, the most popular career for Canadians was servicing during the period, while energy and water took the
last
 place. It is witnessed that the proportion of manufacturing, agriculture/fishing and energy/water exhibited downward trends over the years, whereas the other workforces
such
 as services and construction showed rises. Canadian workforce’s rate for manufacturing was 36% in 1850 when taking the lead, yet the number experienced a sharp decline which was left one-fourth(9%) in 2020.
Next
 came services, one-
third
 of the labour force can be seen in 1850, and rose significantly to more than 80% in 2020, outracing the previous proportion and seeing the greatest growth among the five employees. The figure for agriculture/fishing was ranked
third
, at 22% in1850.
However
, it hit a low point of only 1% at the end of the period. It is
also
 worth noting that the number of construction was 5% in 1850,
then
 it went up by 3% in 2020. Energy and water in Canada was the least popular career in Canada, at 3% in 1850,
then
 dropped to 1% in 2020.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: