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Band 5.5

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #life #luck
A plethora of folks
believe
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believes
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 that
individual’s
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an individual’s
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 achievements are mostly related to
the
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apply
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fortune. I am firmly
opposite
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opposed
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 to that statement due to two main considerations,
such
 as hard work and
skills
.
This
 essay will shed light on both reasons to get better apprehending. The foremost reason is toil or hard work . It is apparent that most
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successful
succesfull
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successful
 individuals bravely begin working
step -by-step
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step-by-step
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 to pursue their aspirations. Even, the barriers and risks that they face in each
stages
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stage
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 are only comprehended as the part of
process
Add an article
the process
a process
show examples
 to be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great person in the future by leveraging self-analysis of the difficulties and weaknesses to
be challenges
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be challenged
be challenging
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 while the
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strength
strenght
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strengths
 and the opportunity
to be
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are
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 advantages. So
as
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that
show examples
,
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apply
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 they can stabilize their motivation to be
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
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successful
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 even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 have to sacrifice much at the
first
 time. Taking Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Inc, as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example. When the
first
 established the company, he faced many rejections
to get
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getting
show examples
 funds from
the
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apply
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investors and banks. Even, he was regarded as
the
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apply
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crazy due to their strange ideas at that time.
However
, he still maintained his motivation
although
 the money was the
barriers
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barrier
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.
Subsequently
, he tried to invite and cooperate with his peers to get along establishing the one of
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
show examples
 inventions
such
 as
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iPhone
Iphone
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the Iphone
show examples
 and
Ipod
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iPod
. Another reason is
skills
.
This
 element is salient
instead
 of merely depending on luck.
Although
 those were separated into two sides (hard skill and soft skill).
However
, both of them can support each
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other
eather
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other
 depending on the area and situation.
For instance
, the most notable player
on
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in
show examples
 football
such
 as Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi will not get the
thriumph
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triumph
 of
Ballon
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the Ballon
show examples
 de ‘or if they do not have
skills
on
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in
show examples
 playing soccer. Compared to, Einstein
who
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apply
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has been admitted as one great scientist in
modern
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the modern
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 age with his concept of relativity. Those awards will not be received without the
skills
 whether the
skills
 related to physical
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strength
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 or brain capabilities. To conclude,
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 accomplishments are not always in regard to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fortune. Hard work and
skills
 are two
substansial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 elements which support people to succeed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lives.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • luck
  • determination
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • skills
  • continuous learning
  • achievements
  • opportunities
  • networking
  • personal accountability
  • diverse backgrounds
  • access to resources
  • causality
  • creative industries
  • structured fields
  • linear
  • predicated on merit
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