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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree .

#methods #society
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How
people
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 are benefiting from
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VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
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? What are the consequences of using
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VPN
Correct article usage
a VPN
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 in terms of
security
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 and
data
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 protection? Do you think the
government
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 should bring strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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 to control of usage of
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VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
?
By
Change preposition
With
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advancement
Add an article
the advancement
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 of
technology
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,technology
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 some services have been provided
network
Fix the infinitive
to network
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 users
which
Correct word choice
and
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VPN
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 is one of them.
VPN
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 stands for Virtual Private Network, in
this
Linking Words
 essay some beneficial functions of
VPN
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 and securities which come from using the
VPN
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 will be discussed;
Also
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, whether the
government
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 should regulate the strict legislation to control of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
VPN
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 or not will be summarized as follows. There are several substantial impacts on using
VPN
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, through which
VPN
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 users can benefit from them in aspects of
security
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.
Firstly
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,
VPN
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 could be able to secure
people
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's networks. To illustrate more,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most businesses have their own networks, in which they put some specific
data
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 into
Add an article
the theme
a theme
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theme
Fix the agreement mistake
themes
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. So, without a doubt,
such
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 valuable
data
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 could be kept safe from other
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 through using
VPNs
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.
Secondly
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, another important function of
VPN
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 is to hide
private
Correct article usage
the private
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 information of individuals. Since it is easy to gain access to everyone's personal
data
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 by various methods used by hackers, so it could be imperative for
people
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 to
use
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VPN
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. A survey conducted in London has revealed that approximately 85% of
people
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 whose bank
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
 and credit cards had been hacked by hackers, did not have
VPNs
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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 can enjoy
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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security
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, provided that they make
use
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 of
VPNs
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.
On the other hand
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, there would be a question about ups which is whether the
government
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 authorities need to exercise control over using of you or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 I find it difficult to
use
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Use synonyms
VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
 it some strict rules are put by the
government
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 because of
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main reason. I believe that the vast majority of
people
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 needing to have
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Correct article usage
a VPN
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VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
 in order to secure their personal and private
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 prefer to not
use
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 them by reason of strict laws. So, individuals’ personal
data
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 are highly likely to be impersonated by hackers and web
browser
Fix the agreement mistake
browsers
show examples
, as a consequence of which insecurity will increase in society. To sum up,
VPNs
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 bring several significant merits for
people
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 which have
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 impact on their lives in terms of
security
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.
Linking Words
First
Correct article usage
The first
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 one is to secure their networks and the
second
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is hiding their personal information
such
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 as important
data
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 related to their bank account and credit and credit cards;
Moreover
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,
this
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 writer Is of the opinion that regulating strict legislation for controlling of usage of
VPN
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 cannot be a good idea because of increasing the insecurity in society
as a result
Linking Words
 of not using the
VPN
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 by
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mehri.qobadi66 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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