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Band 5

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree .

#methods #society
How
people
 are benefiting from
VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
? What are the consequences of using
VPN
Correct article usage
a VPN
show examples
 in terms of
security
 and
data
 protection? Do you think the
government
 should bring strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 to control of usage of
VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
?
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 some services have been provided
network
Fix the infinitive
to network
show examples
 users
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
VPN
 is one of them.
VPN
 stands for Virtual Private Network, in
this
 essay some beneficial functions of
VPN
 and securities which come from using the
VPN
 will be discussed;
Also
, whether the
government
 should regulate the strict legislation to control of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
VPN
 or not will be summarized as follows. There are several substantial impacts on using
VPN
, through which
VPN
 users can benefit from them in aspects of
security
.
Firstly
,
VPN
 could be able to secure
people
's networks. To illustrate more,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most businesses have their own networks, in which they put some specific
data
 into
Add an article
the theme
a theme
show examples
theme
Fix the agreement mistake
themes
show examples
. So, without a doubt,
such
 valuable
data
 could be kept safe from other
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 through using
VPNs
.
Secondly
, another important function of
VPN
 is to hide
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 information of individuals. Since it is easy to gain access to everyone's personal
data
 by various methods used by hackers, so it could be imperative for
people
 to
use
VPN
. A survey conducted in London has revealed that approximately 85% of
people
 whose bank
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
 and credit cards had been hacked by hackers, did not have
VPNs
.
Consequently
,
people
 can enjoy
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
security
, provided that they make
use
 of
VPNs
.
On the other hand
, there would be a question about ups which is whether the
government
 authorities need to exercise control over using of you or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 I find it difficult to
use
VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
 it some strict rules are put by the
government
 because of
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main reason. I believe that the vast majority of
people
 needing to have
Correct article usage
a VPN
show examples
VPN
Fix the agreement mistake
VPNs
show examples
 in order to secure their personal and private
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 prefer to not
use
 them by reason of strict laws. So, individuals’ personal
data
 are highly likely to be impersonated by hackers and web
browser
Fix the agreement mistake
browsers
show examples
, as a consequence of which insecurity will increase in society. To sum up,
VPNs
 bring several significant merits for
people
 which have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on their lives in terms of
security
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 one is to secure their networks and the
second
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is hiding their personal information
such
 as important
data
 related to their bank account and credit and credit cards;
Moreover
,
this
 writer Is of the opinion that regulating strict legislation for controlling of usage of
VPN
 cannot be a good idea because of increasing the insecurity in society
as a result
 of not using the
VPN
 by
people
.
Submitted by mehri.qobadi66 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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