Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Although
some people believe in the role of family as the main key in a
child
's upbringing, others assume there are other factors affecting
this
development process
such
as media or friends. I believe both of these elements play their parts effectively in a
child
's development.
this
essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, family is the prime influencer on a
child
's life. From the beginning of their birth, parents can overwatch almost all the attitudes a
child
indicates and can either foster good behaviours or hinder them.
For instance
, the time when a baby starts babbling and miming others' words and parents can just confirm what they say is polite or impolite.
Moreover
, research on Iranian 7-year-old children revealed that the more intimate and friendly their parents are with them, the more responsible and resourceful they are likely to become in their adulthood.
On the other hand
, after a certain age, children will be more exposed to other factors.
For instance
, the time when they start educating at school, interacting with their friends or after school when they surf on the internet, watch TV, and play video games. A prime example of friends affecting a
child
's behaviour is when they feel peer pressure or peer influence, when they have no choice but to accept smoking
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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early age only to be accepted among each other.
In addition
, a study by Allameh University on teenagers revealed the dangers of excessive playing of video games, making them more aggressive and bad-tempered. In conclusion, not only do offspring learn how to thrive through their families but
also
are exposed to the environment and the people or media surrounding them. I strongly believe that both of these factors can positively or negatively influence children's progress.
Submitted by abolfath50 on

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grammar
Ensure to capitalize the first word in each sentence to maintain proper grammar and clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and logical arguments for both views but could benefit from slightly more depth in discussing the impact of friends, media, etc., to balance the discussion more evenly.
conclusion
Clear and concise conclusion summarizing the main points effectively.
supporting points
Relevant and specific examples provided to support the main points, making the arguments more convincing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary influence
  • development
  • instill values
  • norms
  • emotional foundation
  • social skills
  • role modeling
  • socioeconomic status
  • opportunities
  • resources
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • teenage years
  • impact mood
  • cultural understanding
  • environment
  • role models
  • social media
  • shaping modern childhoods
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