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Band 4.5

Modern children are suffering from those diseases which were once consider to be meant for the adults only. obesity is a major disease prevalent among the children. what are its causes and remedies?

#children #diseases #adults #obesity #disease #remedies
In the present
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people like adults and
children
 are suffering from
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 the olden days it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
affected only
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults but nowadays it is familiar
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
a juvenile
the juvenile
show examples
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
.
This
 essay would delve into the possible reasons for
this
 trend and propound some repercussions.
To begin
 with, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
 are not familiar with cooking healthy
food
 in their home itself because of their busy schedule and
also
 the hardness of work so
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 from the online merchant like
swigg
Correct your spelling
swing
,
zomato
Correct your spelling
tomato
 and so on.
This
 leads the
children
 to affect their
health
 so that it can be irradicated only
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
cooking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
 in the home itself with suitable vegetables and other ingredients that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
health
 and
also
 the physical
health
.
Secondly
, most of the
parents
 are making
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 that the
children
 to take afternoon
food
 in the
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 cafeteria, hotel,
fast
Correct word choice
and fast
show examples
food
centre's
Change noun form
centre
show examples
 which may reduce the work burden of
parents
 in the morning because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that most of the
children
 have problems that may affect their future
this
 can be reduced by promoting the
parents
 to cook healthy
food
 in the home and
also
comple
Correct your spelling
compel
 them to consume the whole
food
 that was given by them.
Thirdly
, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no
time
 manners because some people will not eat
food
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cause
Correct your spelling
case
show examples
 they consume
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 manner which may affect their body.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it can
be
Change the verb form
be decreased
show examples
decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
 by eating the
food
 at
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
time
 with a proper
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
. To conclude
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, obesity can
reduced
Add a missing verb
be reduced
show examples
 easily by everyone in
this
 world only through
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
food
 control and consuming
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy
food
 diet plan. Every person has to believe that
health
 is the
first
 priority to everyone in
this
 world.
Submitted by tompoovathingal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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