IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The impact that the growing demand for more flights has on the environment, is a major concern for many countries. Some people believe that one way to limit the number of people traveling by air is to increase the tax on flights. To what extent do you think this could solve the problem?

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The unprecedented progress of society brings
along
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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several notable notions which are incontrovertible. Among them, the rising tendency of using more airways is one of them. A bunch of personages are concerned with the best method to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 certain folks pressure that tax increment is the most effective step to tackle environmental dangers. I believe, that offering dumps for developments and making visas more expensive, will prove more effective.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more taxation plays a significant role in limiting the number of trips by companies or individuals.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of a high number of, taxes people will reduce their trips to a limited amount.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the high price to boost
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tourism revenues in its country, Indonesia has up-grated its flight ticket price
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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includes
Replace the word
including

The word includes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 basic prices and a 20% tax to travel abroad after the pandemic COVID-19.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, restricting Visa access is another key method to mitigate the increasing demand for flights.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is to say that, people will think twice
to take
Change preposition
about taking

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 a plane because they would pay double the prices that are for flight tickets and taxes,
as a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will prefer to enjoy their holiday locally rather than fly overseas because of the price considerations.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, neighbours of ours decided to visit France in a transit zone for a week.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 applying for
Visa
Correct article usage
a Visa

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 they realized that there were needed a lot of documents,
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID

The word covid doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 tests, and money to get it.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they were not able to do
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 and decided not to visit Europe. In conclusion, several journeys by plane play a pivotal role
to swell
Change preposition
in swelling

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 up surroundings difficulties. If the government includes the tax on aircraft accommodation sister to reduce the amount of air pollution and taxes on visa regulation, these could drive some drawbacks to our environmental systems

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your position and sets up the structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific and concrete examples to support your points.
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