IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #inventions #phones
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that the technological evolution was
initially
 made for people’s satisfaction and facilitation of their lives. Despite the fact that these inventions were supposed to bring the world together, in my opinion, it is moving it apart from each other Social media affected significantly our relationships with others. In the previous era, people used to visit and call each, and even family members were close together,
however
, nowadays
this
 development is tearing us apart due to the fact that we can interact with our friends on Facebook rather than calling them, or we flip on the screen
instead
 of chatting with our families while were are together. Eventually, a recent study conducted showed that the time individuals spend on their screens is twice compared to the time they socialize with each other.
In addition
, younger generations are suffering from social anxiety and a lack of communication skills. Children are supposed to be engaged with activities
such
 as sports, music and painting, and stay away from cell phones and video games since a child learns to interact with people at a young age and meet new friends as well.
However
, it is noticed that children prefer to spend most of their time on cell phones and video games, and refuse to get involved with social activities.
For instance
, an article published recently states that the percentage of children with social anxiety increased dramatically in the past 10 years. To sum up, technology was made to bring society closer to each other,
nevertheless
, it has detrimental effects on our social relationships in case of misuse.
Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: