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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a result of tourism, many historical buildings and sites are being damaged beyond repair. What could be done to prevent this?

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With the unprecedented progress in the tourism industry, numerous cultural heritage like castle, monument, and natural structures has deteriorated even if various restoration is taken. A bunch of parsonages accords that to mitigate
this
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 drawback a multitude of solutions can be taken
such
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 as creating awareness among individuals and taking initiatives through the administrative authority. By citing examples,
this
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 discourse will clarify the aforementioned procedures.
Firstly
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, one of the plausible ways might occur with the help of the creating propensity of individuals' consciousness. if most folks believe
aware
Correct word choice
apply
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that all tour resources are immensely essential personally and internationally
which
Correct word choice
and
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 can be preserved, there is no doubt that
this
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 demanding tendency aids
to protect
Change preposition
in protecting
show examples
 them. To improve
this
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 recognition, it should be ensured by the help of social media that the public will be more prone to conserve the holiday sector.
For instance
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, Cox's Bazar -is not only the longest sea beach
for
Change preposition
in
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 Bangladesh but
also
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for
Change preposition
in
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 the entire world,
which
Correct pronoun usage
It
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 is extremely popular as a visiting spot, and almost all individuals are quite concerned about protecting the atmosphere
of
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apply
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
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.
Furthermore
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, another feasible step should be the government taking a few strategies to preserve excursion sites. The
fast
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first
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 and foremost thing is implementing laws and orders
likewise
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 how to use and visit panoramic places that regulate the damaging predisposition of rich heritage. If the responsible regime can originate more tremendous rules and endorse them consistently, most travel assets can be restored.
This
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, improving common people's awareness
along with
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 the administration's regulatory system, the tourism field could be conserved. In conclusion, to recapitulate, because of tourism trade and despite myriad repair systems, a vast range of historic structures has been deteriorating gradually. Notwithstanding
this
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 drawback can be reversed
to take
Verb problem
apply
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by effective measures,
for example
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, enhancing people's concerns and regulating rulers' rule.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a moderate level of coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is reasonably maintained, although some improvements are needed to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments. More attention should be paid to the organization of the essay, with a clearer introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. While the main points are relevant and supported with examples, the response does not fully engage with the issue. The ideas should be more comprehensively developed and linked to the prompt. A more focused approach to task achievement is necessary.
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