IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people beleive that it is necessary to reavel abraod to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary because all the information can be seen on TV. Give us both views with your own views

#people #beleive #reavel #abraod #countries #information #tv
Humans have always been interested in learning about other cultures. While some people hold the view that travelling to other nations is essential to understanding and learning about them, others think it would be unwise to do that because
technology
 has made it easier than ever. Travelling to other countries, in my opinion, can lead to more worthwhile experiences than
technology
 ever could. Supporters of visiting foreign societies state that travelling can bring more efficient and real experiences. they think technological advancement prevents humans to experience true emotions and, travelling allows us to have better experiences like meeting with different people from other populations
for instance
. They add social media and online platforms frequently omit detailed information, and most of the time the biases of writers and presenters interfered with the actual information and it would lead to cultural misunderstanding
as a result
.
For example
, there is a rich variety of assumptions about historical accidents, and sometimes TV presenters want to promote their own ideas even though sometimes are not based on actual events. Travelling, according to the group opposed to it, may just be a waste of time and money according to the international development of
technology
. They explain In today's busy world, many people are struggling with a lack of time and financial difficulties. they state that to experience easier
ways
, In recent years, TV shows have offered simpler
ways
 to meet all of the needs associated with travel.
For instance
, there were specific TV channels devoted to showcasing cultures and traditions from around the world.
As a result
, they point out that alternative
ways
 of travelling would be the more logical choice. In conclusion, I think that even though
technology
 offers more convenient
ways
, it may not be the best substitute for experiencing genuine emotions.
Submitted by mahshadrezaee1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: