It is often said that we should work to live not live to work. Discuss both points of views and give your own opinion.

#work #points

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Some people believe that their primary purpose in

life

Use synonyms

is to work in order to

further

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their careers,

while

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others view work as only a means to afford their living expenses. The following essay will explore both of these points of view.

In addition

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, I believe that working is necessary to sustain a reasonable quality of

life

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, but it should not take precedence over other aspects of an individual’s

life

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. The happiest individuals are the ones who equally cherish all aspects of

life

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. Working is not at the top of their list of priorities; they merely view it as a way to fund their desired quality of

life

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Instead

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, these people pour all of their focus into gathering as many valuable experiences and delightful memories as they can.

For example

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, the majority of senior citizens agree that their most valued memories are those of quality time spent with their loved ones, not the accolades they have accumulated over time. I agree that

this

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healthy mindset is essential to ensure one’s contentment.

However

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, opponents may possess the belief that having a successful

career

Use synonyms

would lead to fulfilment. Many choose to solely focus on their future goals, and they spend all their time focusing on them.

Consequently

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, they neglect their family and friends. I disagree with

this

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attitude as it can later result in feelings of regret.

For instance

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, a survey regarding

life

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satisfaction conducted among elderly tenants of an assisted living facility

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

revealed that the majority felt like they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

wasted their lifetime pursuing

career

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advancements. In conclusion,

while

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some may give paramount importance to the attainment of their

career

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goals, others only work to afford their living expenses. I believe it is crucial to possess the ability to effectively balance one’s

career

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with their personal commitments, in order to ensure

overall

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satisfaction.

Submitted by mona.ayman88 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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Task Response

Well done in presenting both points of view and giving your own opinion. The essay discusses the topic effectively and provides good supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a well-developed introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing the cohesion of the essay.

Task Response

Clear presentation of both points of view

Coherence and Cohesion

Effective organization of ideas with a logical flow

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
financial stability
personal development
career advancement
fulfillment
leisure
self-care
burnout
stress
setting boundaries
professional success
personal satisfaction
harmonious balance
purpose and structure

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It is often said that we should work to live not live to work. Discuss both points of views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

University students should pay the full cost for their own study because a university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staff how you feel about it what suggestions you have

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.