Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern scenario,
people
have to pay entrance charges for many public places. Even a number of
museums
are charged, while
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
are free of charge. It is agreed that
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
surpass the drawbacks of applying tickets for entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
museums
since
,
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apply
show examples
conjestion
Correct your spelling
congestion
would
be reduces
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
as well as money could be allocated for renovations.
Firstly
,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of the visitors who visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
just because they are free.
As a result
, a number of
museums
are
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
. If their management
implement
Change the verb form
implements
show examples
a charging scheme for
people
, it would be helped to settle
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
of
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
issue.
For instance
, it is widely used that charging schemes for vehicles if they drive through the busiest road and towns which are highly
poplated
Correct your spelling
populated
and too many traffic
conjestions
Correct your spelling
congestions
congestion
.
Therefore
,
people
could enjoy the arts, cravings, history and monuments in
museums
with
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in
show examples
a calm
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quiet
show examples
quite
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quiet
show examples
environment.
Secondly
, renovations and basic
infrastructurs
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infrastructure
infrastructures
could be done by using
these money
Change the determiner
this money
show examples
. Most of the
museums
do not have proper direction systems, lighting, pathways, security systems,
cafetaria
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cafeteria
and
lavetry
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lavatory
slavery
facilities which are essentials for visitors.
Then
,
people
would be happy to pay, if they receive
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
validity for their money.
For example
,
although
most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries
initially
allocate funds to start public places, charging systems have been implemented for their maintenance. In conclusion, according to a
museum
Add a comma
,museum
show examples
the charging system may vary, while some are
charge
Wrong verb form
charged
show examples
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
.
However
,
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
charging for
museums
more than cons because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to experience
a
Change the article
an
show examples
upgrade and peaceful museum.
Submitted by maheshupd08 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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