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Writing Samples
Band 6

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#students #school
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Growing children are more fragile and required careful nurturing. A few folks say that if pupils are rewarded rather than punished, they would give better
performance
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 in school. I partially agree with the statement because ,in my opinion,
students
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'
performance
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 equally depends on both rewards and
punishment
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. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I would discuss both the claims and support my opinion with relevant examples and explanations. On the one side,
students
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' outcomes would be good if they are rewarded for their favourable actions. Because rewards act as encouragement in their studies and
this
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 encouragement would allow them to work much harder than before to get good marks in their studies.
As a result
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, their
performance
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 would be improved to a certain extent. On the other side, the same as a reward,
punishment
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also
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 improves their outcome in school.
for example
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, if the
students
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 are not doing their homework properly, teachers used to give them
punishment
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 to write the task 2 times,
this
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punishment
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 would help them to remember the difficult task as it is repeated several times. In the end, their
performance
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 would be better than before.
Hence
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, both the task's rewards and chastisement play
a similar roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar role
similar roles
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 in terms of
students
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' outcomes as it depends on the
way
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 it is given. In conclusion,pupils''
performance
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 depends on the
way
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 they took the reward and chastisement. if they take a chastisement in a positive
way
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, they give a good
performance
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 the same
way
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, if they take a reward as a compliment they would try to get another gift by performing better in the future.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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