People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities.
It was projected that non-social media users would have restrictions on their
career
progression. However
, it seems exaggerated to express such
an opinion. I firmly believe there are factors that could contribute to someone’s movement in their field of work. One of those factors is matching qualifications.
On the one hand, every position will require someone to have certain qualifications if they want to boost their career
. Take manager
nurse, Correct article usage
a manager
for instance
. They will be asked to fulfill
some obligations that they should have, Change the spelling
fulfil
such
as a master's degree in nursing, excellent leadership skills, and good manners. If they do not have all of them, they will not be able to submit as a manager nurse.
On the other hand
, even though social media networking may have a certain contribution to someone’s successful career
development, It could not be defined as the most important factor that could bring someone to their peak of
Change preposition
apply
career
. For instance
, if salespeople have lots of connections on LinkedIn, then
this
person would apply for a job as a nurse manager, but it would not work out because they are not eligible to take that occupation. As a result
, they will be asked to fulfill
those qualifications first if they still want to develop their Change the spelling
fulfil
career
.
To conclude
, it is excessive to claim that non-social media users have limits on developing their careers. Because career
movement has several factors, the main factor is the qualification itself. If someone is not eligible for certain positions, then
they would not have opportunities to improve their career
as well.Submitted by Keterolac on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion on it. Your introduction was good, but making your stance clearer from the beginning will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with one clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Your essay did well in this area but expanding on examples with more detailed explanations could enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Aim for variety in sentence structure and vocabulary to demonstrate language flexibility and range. There were instances of repetition that could be avoided by using synonyms or rephrasing the sentences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use linking words and transitions effectively to guide the reader. While your essay had a good flow, occasionally, smoother transitions between sentences could provide better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the importance of a well-rounded conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints and restates your stance on the matter. Your conclusion was adequate but strengthening it with a more definitive statement could leave a lasting impression.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?