IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have make the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweight its disadvantages.

#health #services #necessity #person #companies #individuals #care #outweight
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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 society, everyone wants to be healthy to the fullest.
Healthcare
Use synonyms
services
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 should be universal for all human beings.
However
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, in
Add a hyphen
modern-day
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modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 society
healthcare
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 is seen more as a business a way to make money since everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to be healthy.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline how the advantages
outweighs
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outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.
People
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 are put off from accessing private
healthcare
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 due to its costs.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
people
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 do not have enough money to afford private
care
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 and survive
Correct your spelling
daily
daliy
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daily
 living. In America,
healthcare
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 is privatised. Here citizens need insurance to
access
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health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 or a good income to afford it.
People
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 living with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Correct your spelling
minimum
minimun
Correct your spelling
minimum
 income can not pay the insurance cost,
therefore
Linking Words
, they avoid going to the doctors to seek treatment.
Health
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 is impacted negatively,
his
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can lead to a negative spiral - they can
Replace the word
lose
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loose
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lose
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 their job because their
heath
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health
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 is deteriorating.
This
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 can lead to bills not being paid,
less
Correct word choice
and less
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 money for living costs, which lead to bankruptcy and being made homeless. For
this
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 reason,
health
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 costs should be reduced and not increased due to competition.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
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 society where everything you need can be
purshased
Correct your spelling
purchased
 instantly -
people
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 want the same concept in
health
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services
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. Private
services
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provides
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provide
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 quick,
high quality
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high-quality
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access
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 to all types of
healthcare
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 without needing a referral from the General Practioner.
For instance
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, in my
life
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,life
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 I had a dermatological problem. I went through the National
Health
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Services
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 to my GP, which, took a
couple
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ofcouple
show examples
 weeks to see and he did not know what the problem was since he had no
access
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 to the diagnostic tools.
Furthermore
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, It took another month for a referral to see a specialist.
In
Change preposition
During
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 that time my condition got worse before seeing the GP,
further
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 resulting in
scarrring
Correct your spelling
scarring
, burning and hyperpigmentation before I saw a Dermatologist.
Hence
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, if
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 clinic was available
then
Linking Words
 the condition would have not deteriorated and would have been solved instantly. Private
healthcare
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 can provide
care
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 without a waiting list, see all patients with
access
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 to great
health
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 technologies and provide exceedingly well
care
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 to all.
As a result
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, patients will feel relieved once seen quickly and not stressed, they can continue to carry on with daily activities without being in pain or not waiting in limbo for a diagnosis. In a nutshell,
Health
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care
Use synonyms
services
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 should be made available to everyone. The advantages
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantages of private
health
Use synonyms
services
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. They provide instant,
great quality
Add a hyphen
great-quality
show examples
care
Use synonyms
, which, destresses the patients.
Submitted by debi.12 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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