IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grew older. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #amount #money #children
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I definitely agree that providing
children
Use synonyms
 with a little
amount
Use synonyms
 of pocket
money
Use synonyms
 on a weekly basis is helpful to their development. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views.
Firstly
Linking Words
, giving pupils a small
amount
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 of
money
Use synonyms
 develops in them a sense of independence and responsibility towards spending the
money
Use synonyms
 the right way. They learn and understand the number of paper notes is limited and they need to choose between their various desires to ensure the correct use of their pocket
money
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. Toddlers get into the habit of planned income and expenditure. They
also
Linking Words
 learn about saving and budgeting.
For instance
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, if they want to buy a present for their mother's birthday, they will need to put aside some
amount
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 of cash every month to collect the total
amount
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 and buy the gift.
Secondly
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 ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
parents who issue their
children
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 a minute weekly allowance encourage the development of their child's sense of responsibility. It makes them feel like an important part of the family since they know that they can get a part of the family's monthly income.
Furthermore
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, giving your child a set
amount
Use synonyms
 every week can work out much cheaper in the long run provided you don't top it up with more cash in case your child runs out of it. Parents who don't give pocket payments but rather buy
children
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 whatever they want would be surprised if they just total the
amount
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 they spend on their
children
Use synonyms
's desires every week. After analyzing how giving
children
Use synonyms
 a little cash on a weekly basis develops their financial comprehension and level of responsibility, it has been proven that
this
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 practice has more positive impacts as compared to
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
negative
Correct pronoun usage
onesnegative
show examples
.
Thus
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, parents are encouraged to consider adopting
this
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 regime.
Submitted by dps071 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • independence
  • financial literacy
  • work ethic
  • effort and reward
  • impulsive purchases
  • budgeting skills
  • critical thinking
  • sense of entitlement
  • modest amounts
What to do next:
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