Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Education
is crucial for children's growth. Specifically, arts education
is as important as scientific education
. Therefore
, these activities should be financially supported by the authorities. Unlike the against considerations, I strongly support financial aid from the government for artistic education
.
The majority of society only concentrates on scientific education
like mathematics, physics and other social sciences. According to
their beliefs, a pupil can improve his skills with the help of this
kind of learning system. But, they do not realise the power of music, dance and arts on children's improvement. Specifically, recent scientific arguments have stated the importance of artistic exercises like painting, music, dance and arts. For example
, music has a positive influence on feelings or people feel more powerful when they paint. İn
Correct your spelling
In
this
context, education
should contain aid from central authorities, because families cannot afford it .
On the other hand
, families and private organisations should be a part of financial support. Schools are not able fully to provide good conditions to pupils. There are some obstacles like the number of students in education
facilities. To illustrate, a class contains more students and teachers do not have a chance to care about all students. Additionally
, a business should be a part of financial aid. Singing, dance and other activities have the potential to diminish the level of stress and increase the production level of the community. İn
Correct your spelling
In
this
view, both parents and private associations should be a part of the financial assistance system.
İn
conclusion, the Correct your spelling
In
education
system cannot be thought of without artistic activities. One
direction learning method has no influence on children's growth. I recommend that all parts of society provide financial conditions for artistic learning.Correct determiner usage
The
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task response
Provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite