Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Education

Use synonyms

is crucial for children's growth. Specifically, arts

education

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is as important as scientific

education

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Therefore

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, these activities should be financially supported by the authorities. Unlike the against considerations, I strongly support financial aid from the government for artistic

education

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. The majority of society only concentrates on scientific

education

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like mathematics, physics and other social sciences.

According to

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their beliefs, a pupil can improve his skills with the help of

this

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kind of learning system. But, they do not realise the power of music, dance and arts on children's improvement. Specifically, recent scientific arguments have stated the importance of artistic exercises like painting, music, dance and arts.

For example

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, music has a positive influence on feelings or people feel more powerful when they paint.

İn

Correct your spelling

this

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context,

education

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should contain aid from central authorities, because families cannot afford it .

On the other hand

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, families and private organisations should be a part of financial support. Schools are not able fully to provide good conditions to pupils. There are some obstacles like the number of students in

education

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facilities. To illustrate, a class contains more students and teachers do not have a chance to care about all students.

Additionally

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, a business should be a part of financial aid. Singing, dance and other activities have the potential to diminish the level of stress and increase the production level of the community.

İn

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this

Linking Words

view, both parents and private associations should be a part of the financial assistance system.

İn

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conclusion, the

education

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system cannot be thought of without artistic activities.

One

Correct determiner usage

The

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direction learning method has no influence on children's growth. I recommend that all parts of society provide financial conditions for artistic learning.

evrenThu Sep 15 2022

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task response

Provide specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural development
socio-economic backgrounds
state-sponsored
national identity
heritage
preservation
cultural enrichment
creative expression
balanced education
specialized offerings
market demand
innovation
personal investment
commitment
learning experience
unequal access
hybrid approach
vibrant
equitable
arts ecosystem

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Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree

Topic: Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes. Other blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree ?

You have recently ordered an item from the internet, but are not happy with the purchase. Write to the company. In your letter •Describe what you purchased •Explain why you are not happy with the purchase •Tell them what you would like them to do about the situation