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Band 4.5

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#children #computers #age #hours
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A plethora of individuals
suspects
Change the verb form
suspect
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 that
highly-time
Correct your spelling
the time
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 spent on computer
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 for early-age
children
Use synonyms
 is decent for them.
However
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, there have been opposite perspectives among them
due to
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 some merits and demerits behind that issue.
This
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 essay will shed light on both positive and negative sides
while
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 proposing some justifications. The foremost benefit that kids can acquire is to promote their digital literacy. It is noticeable that cutting-edge technology has been altering the way people live and their attitudes.
This
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 advancement forces recent generations to be adaptable and catch up as fast as they can.
in other words
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, digital society nowadays cannot avoid it and those who still stand backwards will be left by developments. So, letting them utilize their time in front of computer screens will improve their insight on mastering those appliances that can be beneficial for either their future
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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career or educational journey. One research published by the University of Wisconsin shows that employees who have been familiar with computers at an early age possess more capability to handle technological tools in the company. Even, two-thirds of start-up companies are founded by those who have long experience in using digital tools.
On the other hand
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, becoming a technophile owns myriads' demerits which could come up for their long life. It can reduce the sense of sociality and communication.
This
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 phenomenon occurs
since
Correct word choice
because
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 computers have an addictive tendency. In which the users
such
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 as
children
Use synonyms
 will forget their milieu by using them for
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 period. As a result, their ability to make social communication and cooperation will go down.
In addition
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, one psychologist, John Eve, conveyed that technological devices
such
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 as computers and smartphones have been leading
children
Use synonyms
 to be introverted. In conclusion, despite having advantages for
children
Use synonyms
, technological appliances
also
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 have detrimental outcomes for them.
However
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, guidance from the parents and time management will reduce the consequences of the latter.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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