IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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These days, It is becoming
commonly
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common
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 that many
companies
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highlight
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to highlight
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 their
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stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 new by any means . In my opinion,
this
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 strategy will provoke
competition
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, and
competition
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 can lead to technical
improve
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improvements
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.
Therefore
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i
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I
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 think that
stress
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a stress
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 new
product
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products
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 can exert
positive
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a positive
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 effect
in
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on
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human’s
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human
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 life. The main cause of
companies
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concentrate
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concentrating
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 on their new product is consumers look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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novelty when they buy new
products
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. Nowadays, there are already many
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stuffs
Change the wording
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 in the world
also
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design
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the design
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 is similar so
people
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 get tired of existing goods.
Therefore
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, there is a possibility that
people
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 pay attention
on
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to
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 specific
products
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 when
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Correct article usage
a company
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company
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companies
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 make goods that never existed before. It can lead to
success
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the success
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 of
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company
Add an article
the company
a company
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. Take
an
Correct article usage
the
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 example of Samsung which is
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company
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a company
the company
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 of electronic devices. Samsung published smart phone which
be
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is
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 able to fold. It attracted a lot of individuals and it brought enormous success based on the fact that It has
different
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a different
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 appearance
compare
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compared
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 to
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a smart
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smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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 which
is exist
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exists
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. I believe that
this
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 circumstance that
companies
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 produce new things
play
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plays
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 an important role in
development
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the development
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 of technology skills. When every
company
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 pursue new
products
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, they will compete
each
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with each
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 other to invent more remarkable
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stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
. During
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competition
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the competition
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, they will work harder than before the
competition
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 to surpass other
company
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’s
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stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 resulting in
development
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the development
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 of their ability. When
people
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 have excellent skills aspect of technology, they will make more variety and superb
products
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, which bring
comfortable
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comfort
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 in
human’s
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human
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 life.
For example
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, in the past,
people
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 do not have electronic devices
however
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,
by
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as
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 technology became active and
competition
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 among
companies
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, nowadays it is vital in
people
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’s lives. To sum up, it is clear that
companies
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 try to make
Use synonyms
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 that do not exist before in that a lot of individuals pursue new things when they buy new things. I think that it brings
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 effect because it can
useful
Replace the word
use
show examples
 to
people
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 to live more comfortable.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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