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Band 4

some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time .This can benefit teenageers and the community as well .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #teenageers
It is true that
young
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the young
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 generation
have
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has
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 less social experience
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to their parents
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same age.
Therefore
, someone suggested that teenagers should do
community
work
 without salary in their free time. In my opinion, I
am totally agree
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totally agree
show examples
 with
this
 viewpoint.
First
 of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
work
 would give young people an
irreplacable
Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
chance
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change
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 in their life
in
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at
show examples
 the exact time. Nowadays, students have
took
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taken
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 too much time
in
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apply
show examples
studying, when they have
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
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, they always choose to do social affairs or
palying
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playing
paying
 online games in cyberspace.
However
, the only way to learn how to be with other people is
stay
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to stay
staying
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 together.
Work
Wrong verb form
Working
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 in
Correct your spelling
community
Correct article usage
a comunity
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comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 means everyone should learn how to cooperate with each other. It is not a game online
Correct your spelling
without
wihout
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without
 any result.
Work
 means lots of duties ,disciplines,and communication skills. With the practice in
community
work
, a young guy could
grown
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grow
show examples
 up
qucickly
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quickly
, and get deep meaning of the border between himself and others.
Hence
 he could be more independent than before. Meanwhile, they would
lost
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lose
be lost
show examples
 nothing if they cannot be accepted by the
community
. The faults they made could be
Correct your spelling
transferred
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
to
Change preposition
into
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 wonderful experiences for their future. To the
community
, adult workers could
also
 get benefits too.
Although
 they would have to pay more attention to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care of the youth, the duty would
also
 inspire their
patient
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patience
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 and responsibility. And they would
heard
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hear
show examples
 some different and new ideas from
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation, which would be very helpful to the improvement of the
community
.At least, the gas in the office will become interesting. In conclusion, I would like to say, one of the best
idea
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ideas
show examples
 for teenagers today is to put them in some communities.
Submitted by 7303138 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • teenagers
  • free time
  • benefit
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • skills
  • learning opportunities
  • freedom
  • resentment
  • motivation
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