IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening . Do you think the adavantages of this development outright the disadvantages ?

#technology #people #cases #adavantages #development
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The following pie charts illustrate the
internet
 shopping
sales
 for particular sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 .overall the travel
sales
 was the biggest
internet
 sale group in 2003 while in 2013 film and music was the biggest . To start with the travel online
sales
 had achieved the highest number which is 36% by the year 2003.
In
Change preposition
At
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 the same time
books
Add a comma
,books
show examples
internet
sales
 were the lowest number which is 19%.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 books percentages had not
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 much from the year 2003 to 2013 it only increased by 3 %.
Secondly
 in the year
2013
Add a comma
,2013
show examples
 the most significant and the less noticeable
sales
 numbers had changed . So in 2013 film and music had the most significant numbers in
internet
sales
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 33%,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 clothes had the smallest numbers which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 16%.
Submitted by noranaboganm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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