Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out,while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern era, there are two different perspectives regarding whether we should protect
animals
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or not. Recognizing the validity of both arguments, I am
nevertheless
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more inclined to endorse the former perspective: that we should protect
animals
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. On the one hand, it could be argued by some people that
animals
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play a crucial role in our natural environment. To start with, protecting species in the environment helps maintain the balance of ecosystems, which is essential for the survival of all living beings.
In addition
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, some
animals
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have cultural significance and aesthetic value for many people; protecting
animals
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helps preserve these intangible values.
On the other hand
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, a different perspective is held by others who believe that we should focus more on human beings. Specifically, humans can bring more valuable and useful things to society.
For example
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, they can provide education, formulate food policies, and build urban landscapes, which are more directly related to individuals’ lives. In my own view, I am of the opinion that protecting
animals
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carries more weight in terms of benefits.
Firstly
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, some
animals
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can help reduce stress in my life,
such
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as cats, dogs, birds, and rabbits. They enrich my life and bring me multiple benefits.
Secondly
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,
animals
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also
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play a crucial role in the community. Animal testing provides a controlled environment for medical research, helping researchers develop new drugs and treatments. In conclusion,
while
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there may be some potential merits in concentrating more on human needs, I believe it is generally more beneficial to focus on protecting
animals
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, considering both ecological and personal values.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all main points are consistently supported with relevant examples. For instance, while you provided examples of how animals benefit individuals through companionship, more detailed examples regarding their ecological roles or specific initiatives for animal protection could strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs by using more linking phrases. You could use transitions such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', or 'On the contrary' to make the connections between your ideas clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding more depth to your conclusion. While it summarizes the main points, you could also reiterate why animal protection is vital in light of both ecological and social contexts.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear opinion from the beginning and supported it throughout the essay, demonstrating good task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured, and each presents a distinct viewpoint, contributing to clarity and logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
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