IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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It is hard to deny that
teenagers
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 do not have a duty to do unpaid
community
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work
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 which occupies their
time
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 to make a progress in their studies.
However
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,
such
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 a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as the economy, social harmony and effectiveness are concerned, I strongly hold that
teenagers
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 should do some
community
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works
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 in their spare
time
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.
First
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 and foremost, allocating the
community
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works
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 to
teenagers
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 saves the budget of the government which could be used in the more necessary region. To be more specific, there is an amount of
community
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work
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 that needs to be done by employers who are paid by governments directly, the appearance of students’ help obviously releases the stress of finance on
community
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work
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.
Moreover
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, the department of government can transfer the budget to technology or education which
also
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 benefits
teenagers
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.
Furthermore
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, the fact that
teenagers
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 undertaking association
work
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 sets a good example for children and adults indicates that doing public
work
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 enhances social harmony. Take the case of expanding activity in my hometown that encourages all the high school students helping with the disabled on weekends gains lots of praise.
This
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 activity helps solve disabled people’s safety problems when they go out and increases the number of adult volunteers who want to engage in
community
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work
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.
In addition
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,
teenagers
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also
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 gain satisfaction in their
work
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 and find value in themselves.
However
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, a voice rises that the free
time
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 of youngsters should be used to cultivate some abilities. Ironically,
community
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works
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also
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 have different categories which attach to needed capacities. If
teenagers
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 have to develop their knowledge of creatures, animal protection
work
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 is suitable.
Therefore
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, doing
community
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works
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 in free
time
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 benefits youth and the
community
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 as well. In nutshell, I agree with the opinion that minors should be required to do unpaid
community
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work
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 when they are free.
Submitted by yisyu_989 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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