IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You recently went to the cinema and think that you left something that belongs to you there. Write a letter to the cinema manager. In your letter say when you were at the cinema and which film you saw describe what item you have lost and where you think you left it tell the manager what you want him/her to do

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know that I left my personal belongings at your cinema. Can you please look for them and update me
accordingly
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? On March 26th, 2024, my friends and I decided to watch the evening show of the movie "Oppenheimer." The movie was completed around 10:30 P.M. As we were so immersed in the plot, I forgot to collect the
backpack
Use synonyms
 from the baggage area, and when I came home, I realized that I had forgotten to collect it. The
backpack
Use synonyms
 is just like a regular office
backpack
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, with a strap to wear across the body. The brand name is on the front of the
backpack
Use synonyms
, labelled "American Tourister." It contains some of my personal belongings,
such
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 as a laptop, notepads, and a few pens. I have the token number that I received
while
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 handing over the
backpack
Use synonyms
 to the staff before the security check. If you find
this
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 item, can you please call me on my personal phone number—987654321? I will wait for your response. Yours faithfully, Kevin White

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coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear structure and presents any necessary information effectively. However, consider adding a bit more detail about your feelings regarding the lost item or its importance to you.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small errors that can be easily corrected, such as fitting the context of your sentences more smoothly (e.g., 'I forgot to collect' could be 'I forgot to pick it up').
task achievement
The tone of your letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for a letter to a manager.
task achievement
You provided specific details about the film, date, and item to help the manager locate your belongings.
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