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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THERE ARE SOME MOTIVES FOR PEOPLE TO DO WORK.SOME PEOPLE THINK MONEY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

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In
this
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 modern era, some individuals consider
financial
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the financial
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 benefit as a crucial motive in working. I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion.
This
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 essay will explain my personal view of why there are other motives that are really important to do a job. A person definitely needs
money
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 to support his or her
life
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.
However
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,
money
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 does not guarantee the quality of an individual's
life
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. If someone works really hard only for
money
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, he or she tends to overwork and forget some other aspects of his or her
life
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such
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 as health.
Furthermore
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, people who do not allocate some of their time for their personal
life
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 will be mentally stressed
then
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 which could be affecting physical health as well.
For instance
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, my colleague never stopped working night and day to get a lot of
money
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. After some years, his body could not afford the amount of his
work
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 and he became ill
in
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 long period.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, working overtime for
money
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 reasons would not give you an opportunity to socialize with other people. An individual who chooses
this
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 way of
work
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 will feel lonely and sad. There will be a moment when an individual has a lot of
money
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 but no one to share the moment with.
For example
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, I have a friend who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good wealth, but he often uploads sad words on social media, related to loneliness. To sum up, I definitely do not agree about prioritizing
money
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 as
work
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 motivation.
Money
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 can enable individuals to buy the thing they want, but cannot buy other precious things in
life
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such
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 as well mental health and good relationship. There are more things that should be prioritized as
work
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 motivation.

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