IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

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Studying
science
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 has a major role in saving people's lives and the
country
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's
development
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. But many countries do have not enough
students
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 to study
science
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 as a
subject
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. In
this
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 essay, we are going to see the causes and effects on society of not studying
science
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 as a
subject
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. Basically, the
students
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 will not have an interest in studying
science
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 because there will be lots of things and books for studying
science
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. For studying
science
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 the
students
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 have to spend overtime to complete their study syllabus so, the
students
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 have no interest in studying
science
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subject
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.
For
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example
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, the
students
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 have poor knowledge of
science
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 so they avoid studying it. Studying
science
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subjects
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 was very difficult to understand by the
students
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. The words are very difficult to pronounce and spell by the
students
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 and their biological terms are different from other
subjects
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 so, the
students
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 can't memorise them.
For
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example
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, mispronouncing scientific words provides wrong information and the conveying message terms will differ. Not studying
science
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subjects
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 may affect the research and
development
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 of the
country
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.
This
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 will automatically affect the infrastructure, economic
development
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 and nation's defence because of the lack of
science
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subjects
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 in the
country
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.
For
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example
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, one student was not studying
science
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 means
this
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 won't affect the
development
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 of the
country
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 but a greater number of
students
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 who were not studying means definitely
this
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 will affect the
development
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. In the
country
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, there will be a lack of doctors because they have no interest in studying
science
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 because of that the
country
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 can't find any cure for diseases and it will be very difficult for the government to handle it.
For
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example
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, if a doctor is not studying his
subject
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 properly means that will kill his patients during the treatment. Studying
science
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subject
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 is very important for every student because
this
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 will help them to develop their nation and research facilities and
also
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 in economics for the future
development
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 of their nation.

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task achievement
In the introduction, provide a more detailed thesis statement that clearly outlines the causes and effects you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central idea and is well-developed. For example, the two main points - the difficulty of science subjects and their potential negative effects on society - could be more clearly separated and elaborated upon.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. This improves the relevance and specificity of examples and makes your points clearer.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are logically ordered, and consider using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in creating a more coherent and cohesive essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay holds a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to identify causes and effects, providing a roadmap of what your essay will cover.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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