In some countries a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenager. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

In recent years, the growing percentage of juvenile delinquency has become a pressing controversy.
This
essay will deeply explore
this
complicated phenomenon, identify the relevant contributing factors and bring up feasible
countermeasure
Fix the agreement mistake
countermeasures
show examples
. For a start, there is an array of integrated factors contributing to
this
complicated phenomenon. Chief among causes is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
place where
teenagers
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lived. Many
children
lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealthy family so we have enough food and clothes. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accidentally
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
many poor
children
always want to same thing. They can do many unlawful activities
such
as murder if acts can help them have
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
money.
Besides
that, because of
poor
Correct pronoun usage
their poor
show examples
background they have no
choose
Replace the word
choice
show examples
, they must do something for
Add an article
a survey
show examples
survey
Change the noun form
surveys
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such
as
stolen
Replace the word
steal
show examples
food and goods. It is,
moreover
, school is one of the reasons make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rate of teen crime
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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class,
teenagers
can be had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh punishment.
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
easy feel
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
and boring. They don’t want to go to school to study. Leading to awareness of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will be limited and easy embark on evils.
Teacher
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Teachers
show examples
don’t understand the students when they
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
period
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the period
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they very acute.
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
easy approach many bad
cultural
Replace the word
cultures
show examples
. Confronted with
such
as thorny issue, we should come up with a variety of effective countermeasures.
First
of all, having some punishment when
teenagers
do criminal activities even
this
Correct word choice
if this
show examples
is a petty crime.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
this
moment, they feel scared and never do
this
again. Education programs need to approach the consequences of criminal acts, helping
teenagers
avoid bad
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
.
Policy
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The policy
A policy
show examples
of government
need
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needs
show examples
to achieve immediate,
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
poor
family
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families
show examples
and
decreasing
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decrease
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
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financial. Parents should take care of their
son
Fix the agreement mistake
sons
show examples
and talk some advice and experience when they have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
same age with
children
. Spending a lot of time playing
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
activities
instead
of surfing the internet. In conclusion,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rate of teen crime increasing
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
many reasons
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from family,
school
Correct word choice
and school
show examples
. They need to have more
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to solve
this
problem.
Add an article
The teacher
A teacher
show examples
Teacher
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Teachers
show examples
should
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
everything from
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. And in the family, parents
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
ma
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
have more time with
children
and teach them more
valued
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
lessons.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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