IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #people #career #future
Many people feel that
children
 should school at a very early
age
. Others argue that the
age
 of
seven
 is a suitable
age
 to start school for
children
. There are numerous thoughts which I believe on which
age
 is convenient for
children
 but some of
this
 research suggests that
seven
age
 is an appropriate
age
 because an infant reaches a mature level and their cognitive skills develop at
this
age
.
To begin
 with, In the
Beginning
Add the comma(s)
,Beginning
show examples
 education life at a premature
age
 may lead to cause irreplaceable communication defects because scion may not understand each other at the end of the day they may quarrel steadily.
For example
, if they don’t agree with the same idea, they might insult because of a lack of mature behaviour.
However
, there are others who firmly believe that the
age
 of
seven
 may prevent some of the problems which take place during these ages because offspring can decide what they want and explain their ideas to anybody.
In addition
, they may resolve an intricate problem.
For instance
, they socialize very swiftly with their friends around
then
 they can start a conscious conversation.
Consequently
, we should know what
children
 do because anybody doesn’t want to frustrate
children
’s life. We have a playbook and we have to exert it in the education system successfully. The
age
 of
seven
 is almost the same all around and it would
last
 forever.
Submitted by ibrahimccet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: