IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What advantages and disadvantages can come of this trend?

#people #home #countries #trend
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Nowadays technology is being widely used in almost every sector of our life.
This
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 technology gives
worker
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workers
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choice
Correct article usage
the choice
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 to
work
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 from any place and
time
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 they want.
This
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 thing has both advantages and disadvantages and it will discuss in
trail
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trial
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with pros, online working helps in saving valuable
time
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 in
this
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 fast-paced world.
Instead
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 of spending precious
time
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 and more on getting to
workplace
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the workplace
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, one can use those resources on doing more. Online jobs are convenient for
female
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the female
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 be able to take care of their small children.
Furthermore
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,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 from home
also
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 offers flexibility, staff can do
work
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 at their suitable
time
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. They do not need to circle around their office table the whole day.
Moreover
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,
this
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also
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make
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makes
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 workers free from travel to
office
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the office
an office
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. In sharp contrast, talking about disadvantages, sometimes they don't feel they are working when they sit their home and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 their duties.
Eventually
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,Eventually
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 they may lose their concentration and that will affect their
work
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 negatively.
Secondly
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, for some jobs like marketing is not possible online, people who
work
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 in
this
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 felid
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to go to customers and explain about their product.
Lastly
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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, working online makes people
isolated
Wrong verb form
isolate
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 themselves in their private worlds,
while
Correct word choice
which
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 is one of the reasons for depression and other mental problems. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
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close scrutiny, I conclude that
,
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apply
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 there are both positives and negatives of working online.
Although
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 it provides freedom and reduces stress, it
also
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 reduces productivity.
Submitted by directtomhj on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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