IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others believe it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals hold the view that it is more advantageous for kids to start mastering a new tongue from primary school
whereas
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 others argue it will be more beneficial to learn a foreign
language
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 later. From my perspective, it makes sense to immerse kids in learning a second
language
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 as soon as possible because at an earlier age brain is flexible and it is easier to memorise information. The two opinions will be examined in the essay.
To begin
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 with, it was proven that small children are quicker learners.
For example
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, a study has shown that a kid assimilates new information eleven times faster than an adult.
Moreover
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, mastering a foreign tongue is a long and difficult process.
That is
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 why it is essential to start working on it from early childhood.
On the contrary
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, others advocate that it is better not to be in a harry and encourage a child to learn a new
language
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 after primary school.
For instance
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, psychologists say that a child’s nervous system is vulnerable and unstable at
this
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 age.
Therefore
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, it is a matter of high importance not to overload it with excessive knowledge. In conclusion, advanced
language
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 skills are paramount in the contemporary world. Needless to say, an advanced foreign tongue opens a lot of doors.
Hence
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, it is crucial to start mastering a new
language
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 as soon as possible because neural paths are built faster at an early age.
However
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, it is vital to find a suitable approach for
this
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 activity in order not to harm children's mental health . Probably, it might be structured as a game for a group of small children.

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Task Response
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points and enhance the depth of the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is well-maintained, and the introduction and conclusion are strong. However, try to improve the coherence by connecting the ideas more smoothly within paragraphs and between them.
Task Response
The essay effectively presents both arguments and provides a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Enhanced communication skills
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Language acquisition
  • Pedagogical methods
  • Curriculum constraints
  • Workload
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Adaptability
  • Personal experience
  • Critical thinking
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