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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #time #thrir #thid
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In recent days, a highly controversial issue relating to
children
Use synonyms
's free
time
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 is that some individuals view that
children
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 must spend their leisure
time
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 with their family members for it brings pleasure to the communities, while others believe the opposite. In
this
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 essay, I am going to examine the phenomenon from both viewpoints and I will support real_relvant examples.
To begin
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 with, some people argue that siblings must spend their free
time
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 with their family. The main reason for these claims is that when
children
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 stay with their family and share their free
time
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 can strengthen their social bonds.
Agood
Correct your spelling
A good
 illustration here, the vast majority of talented
children
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 around the world could boost their talent
skills
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 because they join their free
time
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 with their siblings.
Moreover
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,
children
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 can learn numerous
skills
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 and be well, so they can get along with the external world because they have acquired new concepts from their
parents
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.
For example
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, in a recent study held in a different part of the world is obvious that most of the
children
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 appeared high self-confidence
as a result
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 of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 their free
time
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 with their
parents
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 and brothers.
On the other hand
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, despite the significance of organizing
children
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's free
time
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 to be among their family, still, others argue the opposite. The critical reason for believing
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 must extend their surroundings to gain new concepts and new cultures .
For instance
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, a plethora of gifts have
boost
Wrong verb form
boosted
show examples
 and
grew
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
 when
children
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 join different clubs and share their hobbies when they wide range their relationships globally.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 may feel tedious when they just stay with their
parents
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. To conclude, there are different viewpoints for those who assert the utility of spending free
time
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 with their
parents
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, while others view that
children
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 have to widen their range to gain many
skills
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 .I personally,
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
advocate the importance of
children
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 spending their free
time
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 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 for its utilities that enhance to boost their cognitive
skills
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by laila.alketani on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bonding
  • values and traditions
  • sense of security
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional well-being
  • social interactions
  • interpersonal skills
  • over-dependence
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • balance
  • peers
  • comprehensive development
  • confidence
  • collaboration
  • diverse environments
  • cognitive growth
  • emotional growth
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