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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #matters #quality #work
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As far as some individuals are concerned, employers should focus primarily on the
quality
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 of
employees
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’
work
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 rather than their attire. I totally agree with
this
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 view, because
employees
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 feel comfortable in the workplace.
Additionally
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, they know that they will be evaluated based on their abilities and not their looks or
clothes
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. On the one hand, when
employees
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 are comfortable in their workplaces by wearing the
clothes
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 they like and are not under stress, it leads to an improvement in
work
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quality
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 and
increase
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increases
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 overtime.
For example
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, when
employees
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 are forced to wear formal attire,
such
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 as a suit and tie, in the summer heat
while
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 having demanding jobs, they feel uncomfortable in their
clothes
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 and wish for the workday to end sooner
and
Correct word choice
so
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 they can go back home,
therefore
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 only they complete their tasks to a certain extent to receive their pay, without making progress or being creative.
As a result
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, become uninspired and unmotivated.
Thus
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work
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quality
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 should be prioritized over the clothing of
employees
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.
On the other hand
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, it is essential that
employees
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 understand that they will be evaluated on the basis of the
quality
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 of their
work
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, and not their appearance or
clothes
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.
However
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, it is important that
employees
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 adhere to the social dress code established by the company's public relations to ensure a professional and respectful
work
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 environment.
For example
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, the
clothes
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 they wear for parties and at home should not be worn at
work
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 and they should show up neat and tidy.
Furthermore
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, when
employees
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 feel that their skills and abilities are valued and not just their appearance, they are more motivated to perform well and take pride in their
work
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, which ultimately leads to improved productivity and better results. since they know, it doesn’t matter which they
clothes
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 wear or how they are perceived
at
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as
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 matters is their
quality
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 and effectiveness of
work
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. In conclusion, focusing on the
quality
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 of
employees
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'
work
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 for employers is more important than paying attention to their clothing.
This
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 is based on reasons
such
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 as
employees
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' comfort, which can lead to increased
work
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quality
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.
As well as
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 the importance
being
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of being
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 evaluated on their abilities and skills, rather than their appearance.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that pronouns and subjects are always clear to avoid ambiguity, such as in the phrase "therefore only they complete their tasks."
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases more consistently to improve the flow of the essay, ensuring smooth transitions between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance, fully responding to the task.
task achievement
There are specific examples provided, such as employees wearing formal attire in the summer heat, which help to illustrate the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear start and finish to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
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