Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports. d you agree or disagree

#children #computers #entertainment #time #sports

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Nowadays,

children

are addicted to electronic devices

such

computer

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computers

show examples

and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

exteremly

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extremely

. It is dangerous for their development process.According to me,

Correct your spelling

children

childeren

Correct your spelling

children

is supposed to focus on outside

activities

like playing

sports

.Two essential

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

show examples

push me to think like these.One of them is that

children

those making sport have

sucsesful

Correct your spelling

successful

acedemic

Correct your spelling

academic

life

Secondly

, making sport improve

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

self-esteem directly in their daily

life

. There are different

type

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types

show examples

metod

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method

theachers

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teachers

apply to raise their

students

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student's

students'

show examples

sucsess

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success

such

as making

litlle

Correct your spelling

little

quiz

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quizzes

show examples

regularly or

encouaging

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encouraging

their

students

to reading

a books

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books

a book

show examples

... Of

course

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,course

show examples

those

activities

are

Correct your spelling

necessary

neccesary

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necessary

for

students

acedemic

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academic

Correct your spelling

life

lives

lifes

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lives

show examples

. But there are not enough for

sucsess

Correct your spelling

success

. Surveys done show us,

sports

activities

have powerful and

unbeliaveble

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unbelievable

impact over

students

school

sucsess

Correct your spelling

success

Instead

of spending their free time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing computer games,

students

should be directed outside

sports

Correct your spelling

activities

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

. During to course of my

sister

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sister's

show examples

Correct your spelling

childhood

chilhood

Correct your spelling

childhood

, I push her to

playing

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play

show examples

Correct your spelling

volleyball

voleyball

Correct your spelling

volleyball

Change preposition

With

show examples

the

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

, she adapts herself to playing

Correct your spelling

volleyball

voleyball

Correct your spelling

volleyball

. One

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

later, we used to get positive feedback from her

theachers

Correct your spelling

teachers

Curiosly

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Curiously

enough, sport makes

amazing

Add an article

an amazing

show examples

difference

over

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show examples

sister

Change noun form

sister's

show examples

Correct your spelling

academic

acedemic

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academic

life

. With the commence of

thecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

age, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the teenager

show examples

teenager

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teenagers

show examples

lost their

times

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time

show examples

in front of the computer or phone. It causes limited social connection and friendship

life

. When they go to

social

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the social

show examples

area

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areas

show examples

, they do not know how they

Correct your spelling

should

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

behave.It drops out their

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

Absence

Correct article usage

The absence

show examples

of social bound

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apply

show examples

may lead them

Correct your spelling

depression

Change preposition

to depresssion

show examples

depresssion

Correct your spelling

depression

. To prevent those

Correct your spelling

scenarios

senior

senarios

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scenarios

parents should take

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

and direct their

Correct your spelling

children's

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

outside sportive

activities

. Especially, generation X

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

most of their

Correct your spelling

childhood

chilhood

Correct your spelling

childhood

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

at outside

sports

.It is clear that these opportunities play

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role

over

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

development of self-confidence process.

That is

the reason why they called

key

Add an article

the key

a key

show examples

locked

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

. Generation x

keep

Correct subject-verb agreement

keeps

show examples

home's

Change noun form

home

show examples

keys on their packets.After

turn

Change the verb form

turning

show examples

back

home

from outside

activities

they used to get

home

on their own even

their

Correct word choice

though their

show examples

parents do not stay

home

.Even they manage domestic

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

after outside sportive

activities

As a result

, without any doubt,

children

have

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

support for sportive

Correct your spelling

activities

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

.It helps them to increase their academic

sucsess

Correct your spelling

success

and self-confidence.

Submitted by 0beyzakaplan on Sun Sep 18 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
86
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports. d you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

You have organized a city trip with your friend. However, you must change your plans. In your letter; Tell your friend how much you are looking forward to the trip / Give a reason for changing the plan / Suggest an alternative arrangements