IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
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Nowadays, health
care
Use synonyms
 takes
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 part of our lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should
care
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 more for elderly
people
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. Indeed, I strongly feel, that our
society
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 will be absolutely able to cope with
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 increase in
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of elderly
people
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, each elderly person deserves attention and
care
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. We must respect them,
hence
Linking Words
, the best method to
care
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about
Change preposition
for
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 elderly
people
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 - help them.
Society
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 should visit their mother, father, grandmothers and grandfathers more frequently, especially, if they
are suffer
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are suffering
show examples
 from diseases.
Secondly
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, colossal influence on
care
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 can
povide
Correct your spelling
provide
 government. I hold the view, that government should provide more benefits for
people
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 age.
For instance
Linking Words
, add more free and high-quality medical help, encourage
volonteers
Correct your spelling
volunteers
, and provide social workers.
However
Linking Words
, how will
society
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 cope with the increase in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of elderly
people
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?
Firstly
Linking Words
, government or investors should open more nursing house, for reason that many elderly
people
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does
Change the verb form
do
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 not have relatives
beside
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apply
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. To conclude, I would reiterate, that our
society
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 should help elderly
people
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. which are not able to help
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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