Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

People
’s opinions differ, as to whether state funds should be
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
show examples
into
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
of entertainment
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
or they should be better used to improve
health
education and transportation systems.
Although
there are really severe debates, personally, I believe that happiness is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
key element of our
health
and all societies must provide
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for sparing. At the outset, the main goal of our lives is being happy, and it is involved
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having good moments with our friends and beloved ones. Unfortunately, there are a lot of
people
who
doesn’t
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don’t
show examples
have opportunities to go to different
museums
, art galleries or even practice sports, due to money issues., so in my opinion, it is not fair to be limited and lead unhappy
life
just because one was born in a social unfavorable environment. S we all have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
a good
life
and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future.
For example
, countries
where art galleries and
Add the comma(s)
, where art galleries and museums are free,
show examples
museums
are free are better ranking
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
the best places for living. My hometown, Saint-Petersburg
is know
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is known
show examples
to be
as
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apply
show examples
a museum city, and every museum has its day when the entrance is free of charge, and those days the
museums
are full of
people
. It makes my heart smile because it shows that
people
are still interested in culture and art, and they enjoy every moment they can to be part of it. There are many cultural festivals that are totally free and subsidized by my city’s governor, some theatres have
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
“happy hour” when spectators have a chance to get a discount entrance. All these kinds of things give
people
a chance to lead
happier
Add an article
the happier
a happier
show examples
and more interesting way of
life
.
On the other hand
, there are other measures that could allow individuals to afford happiness on their own. In cities where the social wealth gap is smaller, city dwellers could be glad
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
salaries, so the government funds for schooling or
health
could
also
foster a great spirit around.
For instance
, Colombia does not provide free
parks
or
museums
,
Colombians
Correct word choice
and Colombians
show examples
don’t have enough money for paying themselves, so in many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
those
parks
are being attended just by tourists.
As a result
, poor Colombians are leading a very boring way of
life
. Germany does not have
free of charge
Add a hyphen
free-of-charge
show examples
parks
either while Germans have enough money to pay for themselves.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent research has shown that responders would go to the
parks
on a more
regularly
Replace the word
regular
show examples
basis if they were free of charge.
Consequently
, education and healthcare funds are very important but can’t replace leisure ones. In conclusion, relaxing,
chilling
Correct word choice
and chilling
show examples
around is extremely important and our states should spend our
taxed
Replace the word
taxes
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
that kind of leisure.
Nevertheless
, other aspects of
life
like education and
health
are vital and of extreme importance, but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
leisure is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
root of everything, as I have already said.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • ammunities
  • leisure centre
  • sense of togetherness
  • boost the local economy
  • inclusive events
  • diverse range
  • instil a sense of pride
  • shared identity
  • accessibility and connectivity
  • public green spaces
  • community bonding
  • frequent community service projects
  • community-based educational programs
  • promotes physical health
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