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Band 4

The detailed description about crime will affect the people and cause many social resources. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#description #crime #people #resources #media
Especially, those living
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in
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undeveloped countries and developing countries tend to consume
junk
food
 too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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.That condition causes an
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
 number of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 that we do not imagine. To me,
governments
 are supposed to take action about
this
 problem. By raising the tax on
junk
food
, consumers are able to direct healthy
food
 and so countries' health expenses would decrease.
Secondly
,
governments
 get extra income from
junk
food
 tax. Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of people encounter economic crises in their daily life. As time rolls,
this
 problem spread all around to world. Economists indicate that the selling of products taken extra
taxs
Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
 drop out obviously. Even though, some
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans give up their addiction due to taxes. Cigarette addiction is described as one of the hardest addictions for consumers.Despite
this
 fact , with the economic trouble consumers have to give up Tabacco. After that method, doctors impart that at the same time, the rate of cancer decreased with the usage of cigarettes.Fortunately,
Correct article usage
the government
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government
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government's
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 economic approach
affect
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affects
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 public health indirectly. If the same
politica
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political
 is applied to
fast
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the fast
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food
 industry it may result in the example of tobacco. With the commence of 21. centuries, humans life style and profile
change
Add a missing verb
have change
show examples
 completely. İn the old times, most
the
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apply
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humans prefer to make their
food
 on their own. Even those living village produce their vegetables and fruits
thenself
Correct your spelling
themself
then self
.Without taking any help, most of the
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 subsist on their basic domestic work.But nowadays, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people do not prefer
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle. İnstead of caring for fruits and vegetables on their own they take their products from markets.
Governments
 should realize
this
 fact and make
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money.
Unbelievable
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An unbelievable
The unbelievable
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number of
junk
 foods are sold
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
.By taking
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 on fast
food
governments
 gain extra income.
As a result
, Without any
doubt
Add a comma
,doubt
show examples
governments
 are supposed to take higher taxes on
junk
food
. It is good for public health or government income.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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