Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?
In recent times, maintaining a healthy balanced diet has been difficult for many
due to
two main reasons. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
are indulged in a busy lifestyle; and Use synonyms
secondly
, budget restrictions have made it easier for Linking Words
people
to pivot towards fast Use synonyms
foods
. Use synonyms
This
negative development can be solved by increasing the prices of processed Linking Words
foods
and by reducing the prices of organic fruits and vegetables, Use synonyms
in addition
to educating the population.
Lately, in order to earn more money, Linking Words
people
have incorporated themselves into the hustle-and-bustle culture. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they have no free time to prepare home-cooked meals, which are on the healthier side. Linking Words
As a result
, many rely on processed Linking Words
foods
as Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
requires
minimal preparation time. Correct subject-verb agreement
require
For example
, a study conducted by the University of Delhi published that 80 % of IT professionals are at Linking Words
a
risk of obesity Remove the article
apply
due to
the prolonged intake of processed fast Linking Words
foods
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the current generation's goal is to save money rather than to take care of one's health. Linking Words
Hence
, as fast Linking Words
foods
are cheaper, many tend to choose Use synonyms
this
over the healthier alternative.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
problem can be solved by the government. By increasing the tax on processed fast Linking Words
foods
, Use synonyms
people
would think twice before purchasing them.Use synonyms
For instance
, in 2020 when the price of 'Maggi' increased by 10%, the company lost sales by 70%. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the government could take initiatives to educate Linking Words
people
on the downsides of eating an unhealthy diet. They could use media Use synonyms
such
as television or radio to reach a wider audience. Linking Words
Additionally
, Linking Words
people
could be taught how to cook a simple home-cooked balanced diet, which would be easy to follow.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
due to
a busy lifestyle and unhealthy mindset, many deviate towards eating fast Linking Words
foods
. Use synonyms
Conversely
, by educating the population and by increasing the prices of fast Linking Words
foods
, Use synonyms
people
might opt for a healthy, nutritious meal Use synonyms
instead
.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
While you demonstrate a capacity to organize your ideas and paragraphs in a logical flow, it would benefit from a clearer topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of each paragraph more precisely. Aim for a more explicit statement at the start of each body paragraph for enhanced clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-developed. You could improve by ensuring that your conclusion not only summarizes the key points but also explicitly mirrors the introduction in terms of the paraphrasing of key terms and the restatement of the main problem and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay supports the main points with examples, but these could be more varied and specific. Try to incorporate a range of evidence, such as statistics, individual case studies, and expert opinions to enhance the weight of your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided answers to both parts of the prompt, but remember to fully expand upon each point. Aim to provide a more thorough explanation of the causes and flush out the solutions by delving into how they would work and why they are effective, perhaps including potential challenges to these solutions.
task achievement
Work on developing ideas in a more comprehensive manner. This includes taking the time to expand each point with further explanation or commentary, not just providing an example. This will demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic and the ability to critically examine the issues.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate the points made, but adding specificity could enhance their impact. Where possible, use real-world data, statistics, or case studies to lend credibility to the examples you provide. Also, ensure examples are directly linked to the causes or the solutions you present within the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...