Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In contemporary times, one school of thought holds that tracking and taking photos of celebrities everywhere by paparazzi for a long time is a privacy offence and should be banned,
whereas
others assert that
this
is the price of reputation.
This
essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why people believe the famous ones should accept the fact that being stalked is a part of their jobs. First and foremost, being photographed is inevitable. In fact, there are laws that allow taking pictures in public places, which means various reporters can photo the celebrities legally
as well as
provide insights into their lives.
Furthermore
, these photos could indirectly develop the careers of artists.
For example
, those pictures could enhance the image of a celebrity in the public eye. Thereby, they could receive more working opportunities
as well as
increased salaries from their employment.
On the other hand
, there are compelling reasons why I am convinced that excessive paparazzi should be controlled in certain circumstances. One rationale is that those followers could negatively affect the mental health of superstars.
For example
, if well-known people were tracked for days and nights, they might feel insecure,
Correct word choice
and lacking
show examples
lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
personal space and privacy, which could create serious mental consequences
such
as stress, anxiety, or even suicide. Another justification is that these images could reveal important private information,
such
as the address of their home, their routines, or even their children's school, which could be used for bad intentions that might harm their lives and assets greatly. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that a paparazzi's role brings several merits to well-known individuals and the entertainment industry, I would contend that an invasion of privacy could cause irreparable damage.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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coherence
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion. However, consider rephrasing 'tracking and taking photos...by paparazzi for a long time is a privacy offence' to 'tracking and taking photos of celebrities by paparazzi is an invasion of privacy'. This improves clarity without altering meaning.
coherence
The essay flows well from one point to the next with appropriate transitions. To improve, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
task response
The examples provided are relevant and help support the main points. You could strengthen your argument by offering more specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence
Your essay is logically structured from introduction to conclusion, demonstrating a clear progression of ideas.
task response
Your main points are sufficiently supported and the essay remains focused on the topic throughout.
task response
You provide a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • invasion of privacy
  • personal space
  • media scrutiny
  • mental health
  • public figures
  • relentless pursuit
  • legal implications
  • ethical considerations
  • tabloid journalism
  • financial gain
  • public interest
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