Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In contemporary times, one school of thought holds that tracking and taking photos of celebrities everywhere by paparazzi for a long time is a privacy offence and should be banned,

whereas

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others assert that

this

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is the price of reputation.

This

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essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why people believe the famous ones should accept the fact that being stalked is a part of their jobs. First and foremost, being photographed is inevitable. In fact, there are laws that allow taking pictures in public places, which means various reporters can photo the celebrities legally

as well as

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provide insights into their lives.

Furthermore

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, these photos could indirectly develop the careers of artists.

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, those pictures could enhance the image of a celebrity in the public eye. Thereby, they could receive more working opportunities

as well as

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increased salaries from their employment.

On the other hand

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, there are compelling reasons why I am convinced that excessive paparazzi should be controlled in certain circumstances. One rationale is that those followers could negatively affect the mental health of superstars.

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, if well-known people were tracked for days and nights, they might feel insecure,

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and lacking

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lacking

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personal space and privacy, which could create serious mental consequences

such

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as stress, anxiety, or even suicide. Another justification is that these images could reveal important private information,

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as the address of their home, their routines, or even their children's school, which could be used for bad intentions that might harm their lives and assets greatly. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that a paparazzi's role brings several merits to well-known individuals and the entertainment industry, I would contend that an invasion of privacy could cause irreparable damage.

khoihoangtrong96Mon Jun 03 2024

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coherence

Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion. However, consider rephrasing 'tracking and taking photos...by paparazzi for a long time is a privacy offence' to 'tracking and taking photos of celebrities by paparazzi is an invasion of privacy'. This improves clarity without altering meaning.

coherence

The essay flows well from one point to the next with appropriate transitions. To improve, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

task response

The examples provided are relevant and help support the main points. You could strengthen your argument by offering more specific examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.

coherence

Your essay is logically structured from introduction to conclusion, demonstrating a clear progression of ideas.

task response

Your main points are sufficiently supported and the essay remains focused on the topic throughout.

task response

You provide a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

invasion of privacy
personal space
media scrutiny
mental health
public figures
relentless pursuit
legal implications
ethical considerations
tabloid journalism
financial gain
public interest

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