IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some People Think That Modern Technology Is Making People More Sociable. Discuss Both Sides

#people #technology
Modern communication
technology
 plays a vital role in our lives. In fact, it is now impossible to even imagine a life without mobile phones or the internet. Some
people
 argue that
technology
 has made
people
 more socially active, while others argue that it is making them socially aloof.
This
 essay will discuss both views before arriving at a conclusion. On the one hand,
technology
 has indeed enhanced our social networks and made us more socially active. The vast majority of us now have
friends
 all over the world. We stay connected to our
friends
 and relatives living in different parts of the world round the clock. We express our views freely online on subjects we are passionate about. None of these was possible earlier. So,
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
technology
 has made us more sociable.
On the other hand
,
technology
 has
also
 made us less sociable. Intimate
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 interactions that we used to have in the past have now been replaced by virtual Zoom meetings.
People
 no longer go out to meet their
friends
 or relatives. Even on occasions like birthdays or wedding anniversaries, they just send virtual greetings.
This
 has destroyed the warmth in relationships to a great extent.
People
 now have
friends
 on all five continents but many of them do not know neighbours. While
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 on a bus or train, they do not bother to talk to the person sitting
next
 to them. Rather, they are busy interacting with their virtual
friends
 online. A lot of young
people
 now show absolutely no interest in going out or playing a contact game.
Instead
, they would spend hours playing games on their computer or chatting with their
friends
. So, the argument that
technology
 has made us less sociable holds water too. In my opinion, modern
technology
 is undoubtedly a great tool for socializing.
However
, if it is not used properly, it will affect our ability to make meaningful relationships with real
people
 in the real world and make us socially aloof. In my opinion,
people
 should find a balance between virtual interactions and real
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 interactions to make optimal use of
technology
 and stay socially active.
Submitted by saradharajayuni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: