Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
What students should do after finishing high school program is the most common question being asked when they are in grade 12. There are two opposite perspectives. Some people suppose that achieving Academic Qualifications is the fastest way to succeed, meanwhile, others consider that young people should immediately
work
. This
essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favor
of the latter notion.
On the one hand, studying at college or university could be advantageous to a certain extent. Change the spelling
favour
Firstly
, students who graduated from a specific faculty will be able to apply for high-skilled positions which pay them good salaries. Nowadays, most companies nowadays tend to employ candidates who are fresh graduating from university or college, rather than someone who has experience since big corporates often offer training courses for newcomers. One clear example is that Deheus and Belga are leading companies in feed and poultry segments, they have a Training Department to instruct candidates how to work
before officially working for them. Additionally
, if you have a strong educational background, you will have a better chance of finding a job
in this
competitive job
market. Obviously, if two candidates at the same age and both have the ability to handle the job
, employment surely will select the one who has a learning degree.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to
why I am convinced that getting a Change preposition
apply
job
immediately after high school can help young people earn money
and become owners of something when they are younger than their friends who are entering higher education curriculums. Starting to work
at an early age in life can help them get an income on their own and understand how hard it is to make money
. Normally they can easily find jobs that do not require deep proper knowledge such
as waitress in a café shop, clothes seller, or even small tea milk shop owner. After some years, they can have some amount of money
. Another good point of working without continuing learning is that they can reach financial independence faster than those who take at least 5 years at an educational institution. By this
long period of time, a person can become an expert in something while
their pioneers are still sitting on chairs in classrooms. For instance
, my 22-year-old niece refused to go to university despite passing examinations, as she does not prefer books and learning, she asked her mother to work
for a local spa. While
working, she can learn how a spa operates and how to take care of clients. After 1 year of working, she borrowed money
from her parents and opened her own spa for washing hair and skin care. With this
investment, she collects the amount she has lent and makes a profit. Now she has two staff thus
she has more time to find a way to expand her business.
To conclude
, I completely agree with the second view as
working right after senior high school because it can help students gain proper experiences and skills in a specific field which allows them to earn Change preposition
of
money
and get financial stability earlier compared to spending several years of learning but not practicing.Submitted by vietnam.rosy.nguyen on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your essay showcases a good structure and clear ideas, try to create a more balanced discussion by providing counterarguments for the view you disagree with in the essay. This would present a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, consider organizing your paragraphs in a way that transitions more smoothly between ideas. One approach could be using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by clearly stating both perspectives and your stance on the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to the local spa example, which strengthens your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are comprehensive and cover the essential aspects of both perspectives. This makes the essay informative and insightful.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.