Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely asserted that excessive utilization of
computers
can have adverse effects on young
children
. Extended screen time has the potential to negatively impact a child's visual acuity and physical posture, regardless of the purpose for which the
computer
is being employed. The primary concern pertains to the nature of
computer
activities
that captivate
children
, often involving highly intense and violent electronic games. These games are purported to portray the player as the central figure, potentially fostering self-centeredness and a lack of empathy in
children
with prolonged exposure. Even when
children
engage in
computer
usage for educational or social purposes,
such
as information gathering or communication with peers, it is contended that
this
cannot adequately replace real-life interactions. Interacting with peers and engaging in non-digital
experiences
are deemed crucial components of a child's development that
computer
usage may not sufficiently
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
. Notwithstanding these concerns, the undeniable advantages of
computer
literacy for young
children
cannot be disregarded. Given the ever-evolving technological landscape, proficiency in utilizing
computers
is deemed essential for accessing a vast array of knowledge and information available online.
Therefore
, it is deemed imperative for
children
to acquire
computer
skills early on, enabling them to navigate the digital realm confidently, which will be indispensable in their academic and professional
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
. Fundamentally, the primary focus should be on ensuring that young
children
do not excessively rely on
computers
. Parents must ensure that their
children
cultivate an appreciation for a diverse range of
activities
and do not simply remain sedentary at home, becoming accustomed to living in a virtual
world
. It is posited that
children
should not only be exposed to digital tools but should
also
be encouraged to partake in real-
world
experiences
. Having articulated these points, it is crucial to acknowledge that as
children
progress into adulthood, the
world
they inhabit will have undergone substantial technological advancements.
Hence
, they should have acquired the necessary skills to adapt to these changes. Given that the Internet serves as the gateway to all the knowledge and information available in the contemporary
world
,
children
should be taught how to utilize digital tools with enthusiasm and confidence from an early age. To prevent
children
from becoming excessively dependent on
computers
, parents should adopt a balanced approach, advocating for diverse
activities
and limiting screen time. It is not solely about curtailing
computer
usage but
also
about fostering a holistic development that encompasses physical, social, and cognitive
experiences
. Through the integration of a variety of
activities
and
experiences
into a child's routine, parents can ensure that their
children
not only develop essential
computer
skills but
also
mature into well-rounded individuals equipped to thrive in an increasingly digitalized
world
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While the essay presents a thorough response to the task with a clear position throughout, incorporating more specific examples to illustrate your points would strengthen your argument. Consider using detailed scenarios or data to back up your claims about the effects of computer use on children.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument. However, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs will enhance the flow even further. Try using varied transitional phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You’ve included an introduction and conclusion, which adds to the clarity of your essay. To improve, focus on reinforcing your thesis statement in the conclusion by succinctly summarizing the main points and why they support your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: