Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions

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It is commonly believed that sporting exercises have an essential part in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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as well as

Linking Words

helping to improve the health of the body. Some sections of society think that play involves force like wrestling and fighting and combative arts should be prohibited.

However

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, I express my disagreement with

this

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thinking by forming my own opinion

while

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discussing the same consideration of the people in the following article. First of all, I support so many force sports because of the challenging moments

that's

Verb problem

that have

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come up.

In other words

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the

Correct article usage

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sport that includes force makes us aware of our limitations in doing something and gives us a chance to test our mental and physical strength. Nowadays the young generation gets a positive influence from athletics and tends to participate in them. For, example World Wrestling Entertainment is an American federation that has made a name for itself in wrestling, with wrestlers from all over the world using their strength to become champions and raise the profile of their country. Many youngsters get affected and devote their lives to the gymnasium to make themself wrestlers,

consequently

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entering the arena of

this

Linking Words

federation and earning a lot of wealth and fame with their performances.

Moreover

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, the second advantage of fighting play is that women get much training for their

defense

Change the spelling

defence

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. With thorough knowledge of the techniques found in so many competitions,

for example

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, boxing, women and young literate girls can protect themselves from tragic events including eve-teasing and molestation.

Therefore

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, by learning competitions like

this

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, a woman living in every part of the world can protect herself and keep herself safe.

Lastly

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, I fully agree with the promotion of

this

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type of sport, keeping in mind the benefits of the above article in its entirety, because incorporating these contests into our lives gives us the courage and something to do, there should not be any restriction on playing these daring sports.

Submitted by mosumi431985 on Thu Sep 22 2022

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task response

The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to directly state your stance. This helps the reader understand your position right from the beginning.

task response

While your main points are relevant, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.

coherence cohesion

Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Some transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be smoother. Consider using transition phrases to link paragraphs and maintain a logical flow of ideas.

task response

Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples to support your ideas. This shows a good understanding of the question.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point, which helps in maintaining coherence.

coherence cohesion

You have included a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your stance, which is essential for a cohesive essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

combat sports
glorification of violence
impressionable audiences
cultural heritage
self-discipline
sportsmanship
media portrayal
regulatory measures
censorship
psychological impact
broadcasting regulations
watershed timing
advocates and opponents
ethical considerations
economic implications

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Foreign language should be part of curriculum of the school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?