In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will be discussed the statement that the non-stop broadcast of

sports

Use synonyms

on television

dismotivates

Correct your spelling

demotivates

/demotivates the new generation to participate in playing themselves and at the end, I will add my personal view on the topic

that is

Linking Words

the opposite.

Body paragraph 1

In many parts of the world watching television is one of the most common ways of entertainment, especially gathering with friends for a special match of any sport

that is

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considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important to fans.

However

Linking Words

, it might be becoming a very controversial way of looking at

sports

Use synonyms

-something to watch, not to play. Some believe that it is due to laziness and boredom.

For instance

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, my grandpa watches tennis matches daily,

while

Correct word choice

and

show examples

he does not know even how to play it in the

first

Linking Words

place.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I have a different view.

Body paragraph 2

My contrasting opinion is that especially young people about young generation get even more motivated by the

sports

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channels because they get used to that sport a lot and it becomes as a passion

being

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show examples

a part of it.

For instance

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

my ex-boyfriend

who

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apply

show examples

loves various types of

sports

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. Some of them are

the

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apply

show examples

traditional soccer and tennis. He could not miss a match thereby that started

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which started an obsession for him

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

and playing with friends the same

sports

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he watches every day.

Body paragraph 3

The

second

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reason is the advertisement of famous players to the teenage public

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audience who is a lot more influenced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

Use synonyms

media and new trends. What I mean is that if a boy has a role model

such

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as Lebron James or Messi, we would want to become as successful as

this

Linking Words

highly-paid sportiest. Another example is my little cousin who was a big fan of Christiano Ronaldo. His parents bought him t-shirts and other presents with Ronaldo’s face on, thereby he started going to soccer practices and hasn’t

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has not stopped for six years.

Conclusion

To conclude,/In conclusion

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To sum up the continuous coverage of sport on TV leads to

lazzines

Correct your spelling

laziness

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laziness towards being active. Alternatively, my way of thinking/ I

consider

Change the verb form

considers

show examples

Use synonyms

my personal view

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that

Linking Words

is that

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

it has an opposite effect on kids and encourages them even more.

tanya2013draganova

Sep 22, 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

358 words

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