Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that

success

Use synonyms

is about who can make more

money

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others believe people achieve their

success

Use synonyms

by contributing to science studies and teaching. The following paragraphs will highlight both views based on my opinion and some relevant examples. First of all, nowadays, social media has pressured individuals to show off their wealth. It has become more common thought that if you have a lot of

money

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, you

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be a successful person.

However

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, to earn the wanted amount of fortune, there is

needed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a lot of hard work and sacrifice of many moments with family.

For example

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, medicine is a desire for almost every student that wants to become rich,

although

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, they have to study for a long time, and miss parties and celebrations with friends.

Then

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, when acting in the area, they still have to work many hours, overnights

missing

Wrong verb form

and miss

show examples

special dates.

Therefore

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, even with

money

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, people would not enjoy life.

In addition

Linking Words

success

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is not related to how much

money

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you have, but to how you enjoy the experience and how you contribute to the world. The contribution to society is essential for life and it brings hope.

For instance

Linking Words

, scientists have discovered a

way

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to make seawater suitable to drink, it has been tested and would be a

success

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not only for the discovery

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

for the future worldwide. For that reason, people should study what they like and contribute in the

way

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they can. In conclusion, in my opinion, making

money

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is not a

way

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to be successful, but the

way

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you contribute and live a healthy and happy life.

izabellaveronesiThu Sep 22 2022

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task response

The essay addresses both views and provides relevant examples for support, showcasing a clear understanding of the task. However, the response could be more comprehensive by discussing the implications and giving a stronger personal opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is effective, with clear progression between ideas. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion more decisive.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses relevant examples to support the arguments. However, more varied and precise vocabulary could be utilized to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The grammatical range is generally strong, with varied sentence structures and effective use of complex sentences. However, some errors in verb tense and word choice are present, affecting the overall fluency and accuracy.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

cooperation in a scientifical surrounding will provide me the ability to discuss the complex problems and develops?